Crunchy hippie: We were on the way to the bee colony to harvest some honey, but then I thought, Dude! It’s time for a drum circle.

House of Musical Traditions
Takoma Park, Maryland

Girl, about sister’s boyfriends: That was Bob* — he wanted to marry her.
Guy: Bob was kinda creepy.
Girl: Bob was not creepy! He had a job.
Guy: If that’s your only qualification for ‘not creepy’–
Girl: –He just faked his own death. But he got it out of his system — he won’t do it again.


Overheard by: much less bored now

Carpool driver, noticing woman at bus stop: She has art between her legs.


Overheard by: b!X

Drunken bimbette: First of all, Francesca feels really bad about taking my dad’s money when he was in a coma…

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: another margarita, please!

Creepster: … And that’s why all the women in Paris wanted to stroke my head.


Overheard by: Laura

Rollerblading guy #1: … And that’s when I’ll finally know that I’m successful… When I’m sitting on my throne of skulls.
Rollerblading guy #2: Uhhh… Sure, man.

Church and Shuter Streets

Dude: Man, it’s just that some people got what 1992 was all about and some people didn’t. I’m one of the ones that got it, and she’s not, so no, we’re not going out again.


Guy: So, she and her boyfriend got really drunk and, long story short, she now has to use a colostomy bag for the rest of her life.

University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida

Teen girl on cell: Yeah, I couldn’t stop putting my tongue in them for, like, two months.

St. Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Anna

Man: He’s been dating women he’s met online since back when it was creepy.


Overheard by: sherman