Overheard in Minneapolis

Loud white ghetto guy on cell: Dude, I’m at Target. They don’t got nothing here! Man, I should have gone to Wal-Mart. (pause) Oh, here’s a sweet knife. Maybe I’ll buy that for shits and giggles.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/298723208/this-guy-knows-how-to-have-fun.html

Overheard by: gee, you have to wonder what this guy does with his free time…

20-something guy at baseball game: My nipples are bleeding because of her. She deserves it.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/309168160/what-is-payback-for-bloody-nipples.html

Overheard by: 5 rows up

Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I’m not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren’t you afraid your baby’s going to fall out or something?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/275491256/thats-why-she-carries-glad-bags.html

Overheard by: what not to expect when you’re expecting

Non-Asian student to Asian student: Dude, I keep forgetting you’re Asian.
Asian student: I know! Me too!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/283448924/i-often-forget-im-not-asian.html

Overheard by: m. Jo.

Flight attendant to another: I don’t mean to alarm you, but last night I went into cardiac arrest.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/cool.html

Overheard by:

Girl #1: I think he’s a nice guy.
Girl #2: Nice is the ultimate mediocrity.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/minnesota_mediocrity.html

Overheard by: girl in scrubs

Bimbette #1: … So, after he called in to quit for me, I’m sure everyone was like, ‘He must be one of those, like, abusive boyfriends who won’t let her work!’
Bimbette #2: That’d be okay, though.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/oh_thats_why_they_stay.html

Overheard by: an invisible fiend

Mom: I think that I will get him his first Rubik’s Cube. He’d probably eat it.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/he_doesnt_seem_to_be_ready.html

Overheard by: someone who doesnt eat rubik’s cubes

Guy, about Bob Barker: The show just won’t be the same without him. And the pet population is going to explode!

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/only_if_we_forget_his_immortal.html

Overheard by: the truth hurts

Hipster guy to chick: You know, if you drink a lot of Tabasco, your shit will really burn… No, I don’t mean it will hurt. I mean you can light it on fire and it will keep you warm when it’s cold out.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/care_to_present_a_demonstratio.html

Overheard by: hungry muppet