Woman #1: I think my new cat is different.
Woman #2: What do you mean by different?
Woman #1: I’m pretty sure he’s metro-sexual, because he meows like a girl.
Woman #2: It could be worse.
Woman #1: Well, I don’t know — I’m fairly sure he has abandonment issues, too.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/her_issues_are_much_more_alarm.html
Overheard by:
Skinny brunette: How many calories do you burn masturbating? Gross, I know…
Skinny redhead: I read in Cosmo that it’s somewhere between one-fifty and two hundred.
Skinny brunette, gasping: See?! People ought to promote masturbation more! This is why America is getting so fat! No one is touching themselves!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/itll_be_bigger_than_pilates.html
Overheard by: then why am I so fat?
Sighing emo kid to another: My soul is tired.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/03/your_emo_act_is_tired.html
Overheard by: katra
Asian teen boy: I wish my girlfriend had eyelids.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/um.html
Overheard by: wellll… Your kids probably won’t either
Woman to friend: ‘Cause, you know, I feel things. I’m, like, a feeler.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/the_rest_of_us_are_dead_inside.html
Overheard by: feelin it!
Woman: Human nature is powerless to resist. It’s a bridge. It’s a spoon bridge with a bright red cherry on the other end. The subliminal message is, ‘Climb over the bridge and touch the cherry. Everyone wants to.’
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/i_have_a_new_love_for_the_spoo.html
Overheard by:
Girl #1: So, I told my dad to carry my futon up the stairs. There was no way I was going to!
Girl #2: Didn’t he just have major back surgery?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I didn’t want to strain myself. I’m, like, tiny. Plus, I had to make my room look good.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/oh_well_then_thats_ok.html
Overheard by: I just lost my appetite
Male bartender: So, let’s all take off our shirts and then you can take pictures of us.
Waitress: Oh, we already did that!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/whatever_gets_you_bigger_tips.html
Overheard by: the next table over
Chick #1: Have you ever had a class with him?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Does he really cry in class?
Chick #2: Sometimes.
Chick #1: … Cool.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/most_teachers_wait_until_they.html
Overheard by: wishing he was my prof
20-ish woman: I never realized how boring I was until I spent a night in jail and only had myself… And I’m really boring.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/yeah_we_were_going_to_mention.html
Overheard by: try singing hymns
