Gossip

Drunk guy: Yes, and this is while he was having sex and eating at the same time!

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/we_all_know_how_that_turns_out.html

Overheard by: moogs

Chick: Is she a good actress?
Dude: Well, she gives good blowjobs.

Café Pequeno
São Paulo
Brazil

Girl #1 at sink: You know, Nicole is bringing a guy here tonight.
Girl #2, shocked: Shut up!
Girl #1: Yeah, his name is Aaron, and he likes high-fives.

Women’s room, Philly Roller Derby
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Miss Carrie

Girl: I got into the international university in Bremen, but they didn’t give me any scholarship money because I’m not Ethiopian and I eat dinner every night.

Washington, DC

Black lady #1: So I said, ‘What are you gonna do, hit me?’
Black lady #2: Mmm-hm.
Black lady #1: Then he really started to trip…
Black lady #2: Mmm.
Black lady #1: That’s when I looked him right in the eye and I said, ‘One of us is gonna die tonight.’

Joliet Mall
Joliet, Illinois

Chick #1: I’m glad we’re not dating anymore. He was tiring. He thought he was such a Don Juan, and I would have to pretend to be charmed by what he said.
Chick #2: Like, how do you mean?
Chick #1: Well, I told him that I thought sex should be special, and he comes back with the line, ‘Every day is special with you, Olivia*.’ I wanted to laugh in his face, but instead I was like, ‘Oh, that’s so sweet!’

Georgetown University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: they’re smarter than I thought

Hoochie: That’s why I made my New Year’s resolution not to vomit so much when I’m drunk. Now I do it when I’m sober.

University of Central Florida
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Petty

Young woman #1: And I was like, “No, dude who's two years older than me, I'm not 16. Nice mandals.”
Young woman #2: You said that?
Young woman #1: Oh, no. I try really hard to think of other things when 25-year-olds are hitting on my mom.
Young woman #2: I'm really sorry.

Nail Salon
Napa, California

Girl #1: Oh! Did I tell you about the threesome I had with the married couple on the cruise ship?
Girl #2, gesturing at a father and young son sitting directly in front of them: Shhh!
Girl #1: Whatever, he needs to learn.

DMV
Walnut Creek, California

Overheard by: Shh!

Crying girl on cell: He said “I would fuck,” and I just don't know what that means in that context!

Ann Arbor, Michigan