Chick #1: So, what was it like? Would you do it again?
Chick #2: Kind of like a hot dog… I was so hungry…
Chick #1: Ewww!
Chick #1: I just wanted to bite down, y’know?

Marine: So, things were going really well until he blew the tranny.

Twentynine Palms, California

Woman: I felt so bad. I was like, “it's okay, you can leave your pool cue there, come dance with me.”
Friend: And then you left him in the middle of the dance floor.
Woman: I didn't know he was blind!
Friend: So you blew him?
Woman: Did I?

Hot Springs, Idaho

Cab driver, ending phone call: That's why you never marry a chick that'll swallow for an extra $20. Can't believe people like that are on Craigslist!

Boston, Massachusetts

Kenny Chesney Never Mentioned That

Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Shotboy

Sophomore girl #1: Did you hear Matt and Derek are going out now?
Sophomore girl #2: No way! I totally gave Matt his first blow job. He can't be gay! (pauses) Oh my god! Do you think I turned him gay?
Passing junior guy: Yeah, that'd do it.

High School
Annapolis, Maryland

Scruffy guy: Shit, I'd suck dick for money. I've always kind of wished I was a girl so I could be a stripper… or a whore.

Gainesville, Florida

Distraught girl on Valentine's Day: I can't get over it, I don't care if it's a new hour. I still have the taste of dick in my mouth!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Girl on phone: Yes, I know you love me, but I'm not going to keep coming to the house you share with your wife to give you blowjobs whenever you want! (pause) You need to find somewhere else for us to do it.


Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that's not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook-up buddy I'd at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there's like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that's why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn't she?

Crafton Hills, California

Overheard by: they didn't even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers