Girl #1: I'm so high.
Girl #2: Oh, I don't do that anymore, last time I was high I gave a two-hour blow job.
Girl #1: Oh my god, did a little piece of your soul die?
Girl #2 : Not really, Jesus Christ Superstar was on in the background.
Girl #1: Oh, well, musicals make everything better.
Girl #2: Definitely.
York, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jess
Hot chick to guy: Dude, I know. You're such a good friend. You put up with my shit, and I'm not even blowing you!
Boston, Massachusetts
Woman on cell: Okay. Well, do you want the blowjob first or do you want to study first?
Nashville, Tennessee
Drunk girl applying lip gloss: I can’t believe he broke up with me. I gave him the blow job of his life last night!
Napper Tandy’s Bathroom
Raleigh, North Carolina
30-something guy to friend: Yeah, but you teabagging me does not mean you’re concerned about my safety!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: good thing i’d already finished my taco
Girl #1: So, what’s your idea of the perfect guy?
Girl #2: Oh, I know what she’ll say! Jesus.
Girl #3, blushing: She’s right.
Girl #1, rolling eyes: Ugh! But you can’t go down on Jesus… can you?
Franklin, North Carolina
Overheard by: J-Bake-Oh
Girl: Think about it — when a Sesame Street character gives a BJ, not only are you getting oral, but you’re getting a hand-job, too.
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: David James
Health teacher: The four types of sexual activity we’re going to cover are vaginal intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, and mutual masturbation.
Eighth grader: Oral sex? Isn’t that, like, over the phone?
Pyle Middle School
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Next year the teacher preempted the question in her lecture
