Woman: I felt so bad. I was like, “it’s okay, you can leave your pool cue there, come dance with me.“
Friend: And then you left him in the middle of the dance floor.
Woman: I didn’t know he was blind!
Friend: So you blew him?
Woman: Did I?
Hot Springs, Idaho
Cab driver, ending phone call: That’s why you never marry a chick that’ll swallow for an extra $20. Can’t believe people like that are on Craigslist!
Boston, Massachusetts
Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shotboy
Sophomore girl #1: Did you hear Matt and Derek are going out now?
Sophomore girl #2: No way! I totally gave Matt his first blow job. He can’t be gay! (pauses) Oh my god! Do you think I turned him gay?
Passing junior guy: Yeah, that’d do it.
High School
Annapolis, Maryland
Scruffy guy: Shit, I’d suck dick for money. I’ve always kind of wished I was a girl so I could be a stripper… or a whore.
Gainesville, Florida
Girl on phone: Yes, I know you love me, but I’m not going to keep coming to the house you share with your wife to give you blowjobs whenever you want! (pause) You need to find somewhere else for us to do it.
London
England
Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that’s not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook‐up buddy I’d at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there’s like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that’s why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn’t she?
Crafton Hills, California
Overheard by: they didn’t even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers
Enthusiastic teenager, waving hands emphatically: If you can deep throat a banana, you can suck a dick!
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: If you can wax a car…
Loud girl: Would you rather have cheese or oral sex?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emily
