Bartender: You again? I see you everywhere — you’re like a sewer rat.
Drunk guy: Well, I am an alcoholic.

Cedar Falls, Iowa

Overheard by: doe

Mom to child: Do you know what that is, honey?
Child: No.
Mom: That's a mannequin.
Child (giggling): It doesn't have a head!
Mom: That's right. None of them do!

Iowa City, Iowa

Guy #1: Hey bro, your woman fat?
Guy #2: No. Fuck, man! What you talkin'? She my baby momma, that the baby in her bump!
Guy #3: You sure? She sure look fat to me.

Coralridge Mall
Iowa City, Iowa

Lady #1: … And I don’t even know who the daddy is!
Lady #2: That’s hilarious!

B. Dalton – College Square Mall
Cedar Falls, Iowa

Overheard by: Darcy

Grandson, watching grandmother hold cigar as if it was a joint: If grandma takes off her bra and burns it, I'm gonna freak out.
Grandma: Oh, Simon! I'm not wearing one.

Spencer, Iowa

Old lady: Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just stay as we were and then wake up one day and be dead?

Assisted living center

Sorority chick, from across room: Hey, do you wanna go steady?
Frat guy: Sure, when?
Sorority chick: I dunno… Let me ask my boyfriend and get back to you.
Frat guy: Sweet. Just as long as I get to tap that.


Overheard by: confused and disgusted

Frat boy: Hypothetically speaking, if you were on your period, would you invite a guy to go home with you? Like, if it was your third day and you weren’t having a very heavy flow?
Sorority girl: Justin, this doesn’t sound very hypothetical.

University of Iowa Library
Iowa City, Iowa

Bawling small girl in grocery store, after not getting what she asked: But, mom, I'm crying really hard!

Ingersoll Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa

Blonde: Even though he had already made a trail of hickies around my neck, he was apparently still in the sucking mood, because then he stole my lollipop!
Friend: That’s so not cool. He’s such a suck-o-holic!
Blonde: Seriously! I’m beginning to think there isn’t anything he won’t suck.
Passerby: Well, then you’re perfect for each other, because I’ve heard the same thing about you.

Mt. Vernon, Iowa

Overheard by: Abby