Preppy girl: Oh my god, I have, like, two wives. I think I have a husband… I used to have a boyfriend and two wives.
Guy: That seems to happen to a lot of people…
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shiny
Preppy girl: Oh my god, I have, like, two wives. I think I have a husband… I used to have a boyfriend and two wives.
Guy: That seems to happen to a lot of people…
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shiny
Scottish woman to bald Brit: If you get her number, I’m buying you a bed-in-a-bag.
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Northeastern University girl: I’m so nervous about that Economics test…
Northeastern University guy: Oh, that? That class is so easy. You just have to go to class.
Northeastern University girl: See, if I go to class, I get confused and don’t get it, so I don’t bother going anymore.
39 bus
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: let me clue you in
Girl behind counter: Someone needs to tape his ass together, because he is loose. He is like grandma-and-whiskey loose.
Tattoo parlor
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: switching to vodka
High school physics teacher: You see, everything has a gravitational force, so everything is attracted to everything else. For example, I am attracted to this door. This… is a really… nice door. And this table — this is a really, really nice table… But I really like the door.
Massachusetts
Security guard to girls who set off alarms: It’s okay. Sometimes I steal things, too.
Boston, Massachusetts
Drunk guy: America is the greatest! If you don’t like it, get out! Out with the riff-raff!
Friend: Stanley the Racist would be so proud of you.
Drunk guy: Man, it was great seeing Stanley the Racist again. Next time I see him, I’m going to give him a big man-hug.
E line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: elena
Undergrad girl in pajamas: … So then the cops realized that they had the wrong guy on his knees.
Undergrad friend in pajamas: What? Why?
Undergrad girl in pajamas: ‘Cause the guy who did it had a ponytail.
Undergrad friend in pajamas: Damn! The coolest stuff happens after I leave.
Tufts University dining hall
Medford, Massachusetts
Guy: I’ve decided not to have an orgasm for the rest of the week.
Girl: God! Why?! You can’t have too many orgasms. It’s not like drinking too much!
Guy: I decide a lot of things.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Abstemious
Woman #1: I’m kind of bionic like that.
Woman #2: Yeah, it’s like you have a bionic uterus!
Harvard Medical School
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: glad mine’s not bionic
