Drunk skater #1: Yeah, he’s gotten a lot nicer since he got butt-raped in France.
Drunk skater #2: Yeah, I heard about that. Is that true?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michael
Drunk skater #1: Yeah, he’s gotten a lot nicer since he got butt-raped in France.
Drunk skater #2: Yeah, I heard about that. Is that true?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michael
Mom trying to remove splinter from son’s hand: I’m sorry it hurts. When we get home you can take a bath. Sometimes that helps splinters come out.
Toddler, in between sobs: Okay… And this time I’ll try not to poop in the tub.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hannah
Queer: Oh my god, that girl’s dress is so short. I swear her outer labia were hanging out.
Sunset Grill and Tap
Boston, Massachusetts
Drunk chick on cell: Wait! You didn’t like Shaun of the Dead? What’s wrong with you? Never mind, you can’t stick it in me.
Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shotboy
Hobo: Hello, little girl.
Four-year-old girl: I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.
Hobo: Well, your vagina smells like vomit! [Mother gasps.]
Amherst, Massachusetts
Girl #1: Well, I guess that answers the question about how vampires make out.
Girl #2: Yup… And it was hot!
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl with squeaky shoes, to mom: Not only am I looking pudgy today, but these shoes keep making fart sounds! I’m wearing fart-shoes, and I hope you’re satisfied!
Kohl’s
Framingham, Massachusetts
Woman on cell: Well, how long will rehab take? Oh, yes, the biting problem… She’s hasn’t broken the skin in a while, though.
DSW Shoes
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mt
Teen boy #1: So, out of all the Disney princesses, which one would you get nasty with?
Teen boy #2: What? That’s gross shit, man. They’re cartoons! You’re disgusting.
Teen boy #1, after pause: So, the Little Mermaid?
Teen boy #2: Word.
Fall River, Massachusetts
Chick: About a year ago I discovered that everything I learned at Harvard was actually through reading Wikipedia just before the exam.
Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
