Preppy guy on cell: So, you’re pissed. I guess ’cause I lied. Or, yeah, I understand — ’cause I had sex with someone else last night. What was I supposed to do, wake up and say, ‘Oh, hey, I have a girlfriend’ to her? … Look, babe, I love you, but I’m 19 and I’m human.
Drunk guy from dorm window: And an asshole!
Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Drew
Girl in lunch line: Why are there fucking bamboo shoots in this stir fry? What do they think I am, a koala?!
Wellesley College
Wellesley, Massachusetts
Meathead to swooning girls: I’m just gonna eat your ovaries! Raaawwwrrr!
Commonwealth Avenue bus, Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts
Dude exiting cab: Oh! Hi!
Girl on sidewalk, trying to hail cab: Hi.
Dude exiting cab: You’re hot! Wanna make out?
Girl on sidewalk: Not right now.
Dude exiting cab: Slut!
Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Lady: Yeah, he’s cute… for a seven-year-old girl.
Kenmore Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: H
Thug to pit bull on leash: What time are you gonna shit? … No, seriously, what time?
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jchill
30-year-old woman on cell: I think I should just call Lisa* and ask her if she has cancer, because she is way too normal. There has to be something wrong with her.
Ferry line
Nantucket, Massachusetts
Drunken 50-year-old to his penis: Come on! Pee! Pee until you can’t pee no more, bitch.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hiding Roommate
Undergrad #1: Man, it would suck if you died by drowning in molasses.
Undergrad #2: Well, better than being raped.
Undergrad #1: True. Well, unless you were diabetic. Then the molasses would be, like, raping you.
Harvard research lab
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: random person
Preppy chick: I’ve never seen her pee in a bush or even fart or anything. It’s like I only know her on one level, you know?
Harvard Station
Boston, Massachusetts
