Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.


Overheard by: Chikara

Girl to friend: I gave my ostrich a fur coat.

Rich Catholic Girls School
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Woman to friend: He didn't know what to do with his chicken, so he stuffed it in his pants.

Stanley Park

Overheard by: shiz

Chick: The peeing politician doesn't float my boat.


Overheard by: Meister E

Male customer: Since you're new, I will order slowly. (proceeds to do so)
Cute female barista, after writing down: Okay, that wasn't so hard!
Male customer: Oh, I'll give you something hard… Oh, wait, did that come out wrong?

Roswell, Georgia

College girl #1: It was fun because it was easy.
College girl #2: Emily*, not all easy things are fun…like, I hear you're not that fun.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

(at the woodcarving tent)
Pretentious old lady to others: Mike does amazing things with his wood. (pause) I just *love* his wood.

Art & Wine Festival
Cave Creeek, Arizona

Overheard by: J-Kap

Bottle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your color done!
Natural blonde gentleman: Bitch, this comes from Adonis genes gifted from on high.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove


Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.

Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania

20-something to gay friend: I got stuffed more than a Turducken last night!