College freshman: I keep making plans for my funeral, and they keep getting better!

San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Anne

Little old lady: I’m not a Pina Colada type. Give me a Coors Light and a nice doobie and I’m good.

Women’s Gym
Studio City, California

Overheard by: urzzz

Six‐year‐old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm‐hmm?
Six‐year‐old girl: Was that paradise?


Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there

College guy #1: My penis is getting stronger!
College guy #2: What does that even mean? How do you know?
College guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bushes now, and for a while I couldn’t.
College guy #2: Niiiice!
(they high five)


Overheard by: a lil.

Drunk girl looking at digital camera: Sometimes I’m having such a good time I look Chinese.

Saint Joseph’s University
Philadelphia, PA

Excited hipster guy on cell: Dude, you just missed Wyclef Jean! He was fucking awesome! He dry‐humped me and everything!

Voodoo Music Fest
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Eliza

Serious Asian dude: I don’t like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.


Overheard by: Neither nor

Guy to girlfriend: It doesn’t matter what we do! It’s pervert weekend!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: melissa

Girl walking with two guys: I’m going to teabag you! …I’m so glad I know what that means now!

Pullman, Washington

Overheard by: Rachel

Girlfriend: I think my butt has gotten bigger.
Boyfriend: If that’s true, hallelujah. I love big booties.
Girlfriend: David*, this is serious! I think I have been doing so many squats that my butt has lifted and risen… like bread.


Overheard by: MoMo