Girl: I love this new toothpaste I got. It has green tea in it and tastes absolutely fantastic. It feels like there’s a tea party going on in my mouth, and I just want to invite my teddy bears or something!

Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: Ali and Livi

Little girl when dad hands her balloon: I’ve been waiting all my life for this…

Newport News, Virginia

Overheard by: Audrey

Old lady diner to captain: This food is amazing. I hope the chef is single, over 60, and horny.

Arnaud’s Restaurant, Bienville Street
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: The Frontwaiter

College freshman: I keep making plans for my funeral, and they keep getting better!

San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Anne

Little old lady: I’m not a Pina Colada type. Give me a Coors Light and a nice doobie and I’m good.

Women’s Gym
Studio City, California

Overheard by: urzzz

Six-year-old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm-hmm?
Six-year-old girl: Was that paradise?


Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there

College guy #1: My penis is getting stronger!
College guy #2: What does that even mean? How do you know?
College guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bushes now, and for a while I couldn't.
College guy #2: Niiiice!
(they high five)


Overheard by: a lil.

Drunk girl looking at digital camera: Sometimes I'm having such a good time I look Chinese.

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, PA

Excited hipster guy on cell: Dude, you just missed Wyclef Jean! He was fucking awesome! He dry-humped me and everything!

Voodoo Music Fest
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Eliza

Serious Asian dude: I don't like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.


Overheard by: Neither nor