New Mexico

Teenage girl: God is in every queef.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: I love the smell of hatred in the morning.
Confused girl sitting next to him: Is it anything like coffee?
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: What? No, it's nothing like coffee. God, you're so stupid.

College Dining Hall
Albuquerque, New Mexico

College girl #1: Makeup is like a sock for your face: it covers it, but doesn't really protect it.
College girl #2: Wow… That's deep.

New Mexico

Girl: Yeah, I work at Show Me's. It's like Hooters, only sluttier.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Emo boy: Matt! Tell her how you fucked up your face!
Matt: I was rubbing one out in the shower and when I came, my knees gave out and I hit my head on the faucet.
Emo girl (gasping and laughing hysterically): That is best thing I have ever heard!

New Mexico

Hipster college dude: You mean you had anal?
Hipster college chick: Well, more like mental anal.
Hipster college dude: Mental anal. Hmmm, let me think on that a spell.

UNM Campus
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: klutch

Religious nut: Go back to the kitchen!
Gay girl #1: We do it in the kitchen!
Gay girl #2: Oh yeah. That’s the day we realized our dishwasher had wheels.

Pride Parade
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Cade