Guy: I’m pretty positive that on judgment day, god is going to have a live action replay of this conversation and be like: “See… And you were so close!”
University of Kentucky
Lexington, Kentucky
Guy: I’m pretty positive that on judgment day, god is going to have a live action replay of this conversation and be like: “See… And you were so close!”
University of Kentucky
Lexington, Kentucky
Drunk college student: What’s up, man?
Tired-looking bum: Allah! Allah always be up.
Drunk college student: True. True. Holla’ at your boy.
Green Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: On my way to church
Student: Professor Barnes*, can you please explain where you got the last line there?
Professor: [Looks at blackboard, turns back to the class, and clasps his hands] It came from God.
University of Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: stopped going to class after this
Hobo, pointing to passerby: God is going to cum all over your face!
Westwood Village
Los Angeles, California
Music history professor, putting a CD in the player: And now we pray to the god of CDs. It’s not good to be a teacher with CDs. They are very stupid things. [Pause.] …It’s not good to be a teacher, perhaps that’s what it is.
Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland
High school girl, ranting to friend about biology class: It's *so* annoying…I hate evolution! He goes all into the *designing* of a cell and I'm like “God created it and that's all we need to know.” We don't have to go all hi-def into it!
Lancaster Mennonite HIgh School
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Professor: See, humans have what Aristotle calls “rational souls,” meaning we use intellect. Humans ask questions that other living things can't, like “what is god? What is the divine problem? Where are my Nunchuks? Where did I leave them?”
Philosophy Class, UC
Santa Barbara, California
Professor: So, basically god has to suppress the gag reflex when he looks at you; but it's okay because he loves you anyway.
University of Akron
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Rebecca
