I Wouldn’t Agree to Any Surgery, Either

Girl on cell: … And don’t let her dress you in drag — she likes doing that.

Asheville, North Carolina

Posted on July 13, 2025
Advice, North Carolina, On the phone

Because What Else Is There to Do in North Carolina?

College dude on cell: It will be the same thing — we’ll go out drinking, she’ll drink too much, she’ll cry on my shirt, and then she’ll pass out and I’ll have to carry her home. Happens every time… Because, dude, she’s my girlfriend. It’s what we do… Because! It’s what everyone does.

Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Overheard by: not his girlfriend

Posted on May 31, 2025
Gossip, North Carolina, On the phone, Relationships

Mom’s Now Written Me a Series of Letters I’m Afraid to Open

Older woman: So, I was at my parents’ house this weekend and there were some condoms sitting on the table…
Friend: What?
Older woman: Yeah. So I asked my mom, ‘Why do you need condoms?’ And she said, ‘It’s for easier clean up.’
Friend: Gross!
Older woman: Yeah… So that’s why I stopped asking my parents questions.

Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Emily I

Posted on May 25, 2025
Friends, Gossip, North Carolina

Some Public Safety Officers Are Creepier Than Others

Skinny guy in tank top showing girl some crumpled mugshot: Have you seen this man before?
Girl on treadmill: Ummm, no?
Skinny guy: Well, he’s a rapist, and he’s at large. So if you see him, or if you get scared at night, just give me a call [hands her a phone number].

Gym
Cary, North Carolina

Posted on April 19, 2025
Advice, Creepsters, North Carolina

Thinks Our President Is Curious George

Blonde: You know, it’s like the story of Ferdinand!
Brunette: How does my relationship have anything to do with Ferdinand, the king of Spain?!
Blonde: No! Ferdinand the bull! The classic children’s book! What kind of best friend are you? You know I wouldn’t know anything about the king of Spain!

Charlotte, North Carolina