North Carolina

Sophomore #1: [Whispering.]Sophomore #2: Oh, dude! She is hot!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: I would so fuck her!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: Dude, I so would fuck her. Like, fuck her up the ass.

Mt. Tabor High School
North Carolina

Overheard by: eating lunch.

School counselor, trying to get kids to guess a career: This person might work in fashion, or decorate houses…
Fourth grader: A gay guy!

Raleigh, North Carolina

Skinny boy at the back of the classroom: I had a Pop-Tart for breakfast!
Teacher, horrified: Why? Oh my god, why?!

Middle School
North Carolina

Skinny girl: My roommate’s nuts. We got into another fight.
Tall girl: Oh, God, what is it now? She’s mad again ’cause you don’t rinse every drop of toothpaste out of the sink, right?
Skinny girl: No, it’s the mayonnaise! The fucking mayonnaise! She accused me of eating it! Just the plain mayo, not on a sandwich or anything. I looked at her and told her, ‘Listen, bitch, I don’t eat mayo. I’m anorexic.’ She’s accusing me of having no self control!
Tall girl: So, what happened then?
Skinny girl: I was drunk, so I threw the mayo out our front door and said, ‘Ha! Now no one can eat it!’ I don’t think that helped the situation at all.

George Herman’s
Charlotte, North Carolina

Redhead: If I were a horse, I would totally do this one [points to horse in magazine].
Blonde: If you were a horse, you would do them all.
Redhead: Yeah! There’s the Quarter Horse, the Mustang, the Appaloosa, and the Arabian. Ohhh, the Arabian! [Shivers.]

Raleigh, North Carolina

Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.

Wilmington, North Carolina

Whitey thug: I can’t listen to you anymore! You just ended a sentence with a motherfucking preposition!

Gas station
North Carolina

Overheard by: KommissarKrunch

Drunk girl puking in bathroom stall to drunk girl puking in stall next to her: It's okay! I'm throwing up too!

Wake Forest University
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Four-year-old boy: I said, all I want is underwear!

Banana Republic
Smithfield, North Carolina

Overheard by: Bryan

Guy to friend: Do you have a reason to riverdance on my testicles?

Boone, North Carolina