College dude on cell: It will be the same thing — we’ll go out drinking, she’ll drink too much, she’ll cry on my shirt, and then she’ll pass out and I’ll have to carry her home. Happens every time… Because, dude, she’s my girlfriend. It’s what we do… Because! It’s what everyone does.
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: not his girlfriend
Older woman: So, I was at my parents’ house this weekend and there were some condoms sitting on the table…
Friend: What?
Older woman: Yeah. So I asked my mom, ‘Why do you need condoms?’ And she said, ‘It’s for easier clean up.’
Friend: Gross!
Older woman: Yeah… So that’s why I stopped asking my parents questions.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Emily I
Skinny guy in tank top showing girl some crumpled mugshot: Have you seen this man before?
Girl on treadmill: Ummm, no?
Skinny guy: Well, he’s a rapist, and he’s at large. So if you see him, or if you get scared at night, just give me a call [hands her a phone number].
Gym
Cary, North Carolina
Blonde: You know, it’s like the story of Ferdinand!
Brunette: How does my relationship have anything to do with Ferdinand, the king of Spain?!
Blonde: No! Ferdinand the bull! The classic children’s book! What kind of best friend are you? You know I wouldn’t know anything about the king of Spain!
Charlotte, North Carolina
Kid running for shelter from rain: Why did Mother Nature betray us?!
Durham, North Carolina
Employee to another: You gotta stay focused! He’s gonna run out of meat! You’re letting him run out of meat!
McDonald’s
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Mrs. BigMac
Professor: I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing worse than eating a baby.
Community college
North Carolina
Overheard by: First row fanboy
Incoming freshman, about required pre-entry reading: We should not have to be exposed to new ideas we might not agree with.
University campus
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: yeah, now my brain hurts
Chick: Okay, here’s your hundred thousand dollars, and there’s the mall. And I’ll just be sitting here sprouting a penis.
Carrboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Li’l Bit
Lady: Damn! This dress done makes me look like I gave up on life!
Dressing room
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Ursulav
