Young suit: I need to get a new BlackBerry. I dropped my old one in a urinal. Well, I was wearing lederhosen, and they don’t have pockets.

San Jose Airport

Overheard by: Keren

Lady: Damn! This dress done makes me look like I gave up on life!

Dressing room
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Ursulav

Bimbette, pointing to Che Guevara t-shirt: Jose Cuervo!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: SP

Old woman shopping with friend, picking up jeans: Well, these looked good on George Strait.

Warrenton, Virginia

Younger heavy metal guy with older coworkers: I never find the right size of long johns in the winter, so I buy women's tights instead. (older coworkers look at him in shock) What? I was kidding! Morning humor, you know.
Macho guy sitting behind: Yeah, women's tights make your junk look bigger!

Commuter Train

Overheard by: strictly boxers.

Girl #1, watching attractive guy: Du-ude, check that out!
Girl #2: Oooh. Yummy! (notices friend shamelessly ogling)
Girl #1: Elizabeth!! Put his clothes back on!

Yale University
New Haven, Connecticut

Overheard by: You Can Take Mine Instead

Old lady: You know how it’s Jake’s* birthday in a week or two? And you know how he likes black leather?
20-ish granddaughter, whispering: Grandma! You’re making him sound like a homosexual!
Old lady: Well, it’s not like I’m going to get him assless chaps.

Eagle Ridge Hospital
Coquitlam, Bristish Columbia

Conductor over loudspeaker: Diana, I have your clothes… Diana, the head conductor has your clothes.

MBTA Commuter Rail
Boston, Massachusetts

College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?

Fulton, Missouri

Overheard by: The Sweetheart

Hobo: Hey, man, can you spare a quarter?
Suit: Sure. Here you go.
Hobo: Thanks. [Calling after suit] I like your outfit!

Overheard by: rich