North Carolina

Whitey thug: I can’t listen to you anymore! You just ended a sentence with a motherfucking preposition!

Gas station
North Carolina

Overheard by: KommissarKrunch

Drunk girl puking in bathroom stall to drunk girl puking in stall next to her: It's okay! I'm throwing up too!

Wake Forest University
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Four-year-old boy: I said, all I want is underwear!

Banana Republic
Smithfield, North Carolina

Overheard by: Bryan

Guy to friend: Do you have a reason to riverdance on my testicles?

Boone, North Carolina

Chick #1: What is that? A rape whistle?
Chick #2, wearing whistle around neck: Yeah, it is! [Blows it loudly] I’m gonna rape you!

Cans Bar & Canteen
Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Devon

Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?

Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself

Teenage boy: She said his bazooka was too big for her funhole.

High School
North Carolina

Overheard by: aWkWaRd

Woman: I'll be at the bar tonight and I'll be all, “hey guys, I bought this shirt at Kohl's for five bucks! And I'm single! And you won't have to call me ever because I'm from Virginia!”

Raleigh, North Carolina

Professor, going over syllabus: Because of schedule changes, the apocalypse will be postponed.

Seminary classroom
North Carolina

Overheard by: good, that gives me another week

Mormon-looking hick teen: (holds up shirt and looks at his mother)
Hick mom: Gawd, no! That is Satan's shirt!

Wilmington, North Carolina

Overheard by: Amy