North Carolina

Guy to friend: Do you have a reason to riverdance on my testicles?

Boone, North Carolina

Chick #1: What is that? A rape whistle?
Chick #2, wearing whistle around neck: Yeah, it is! [Blows it loudly] I’m gonna rape you!

Cans Bar & Canteen
Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Devon

Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?

Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself

Teenage boy: She said his bazooka was too big for her funhole.

High School
North Carolina

Overheard by: aWkWaRd

Woman: I'll be at the bar tonight and I'll be all, “hey guys, I bought this shirt at Kohl's for five bucks! And I'm single! And you won't have to call me ever because I'm from Virginia!”

Raleigh, North Carolina

Professor, going over syllabus: Because of schedule changes, the apocalypse will be postponed.

Seminary classroom
North Carolina

Overheard by: good, that gives me another week

Mormon-looking hick teen: (holds up shirt and looks at his mother)
Hick mom: Gawd, no! That is Satan's shirt!

Wilmington, North Carolina

Overheard by: Amy

Little kid in leather jacket to random man lighting cigarette: Nooo! Stop! Poison! I am too rich to die!

North Carolina

Drunk girl: I went to the University of Alabama, so you don’t have to tell me about sex.

Raleigh, North Carolina

Guy: So, it's like, there's ski equipment strewn everywhere on the ground. I wrote a story about it, with descriptions and metaphors and shit.

Boone, North Carolina