Hot girl: I haven’t had sex in so long.
Cute friend, nodding: Mmmm.
Hot girl: Nobody pays attention to me…
Cute friend: It’s ’cause you only have boyfriends.
Hot girl: Yeah… And… [Whispers] I kinda like pooping.

Tampa, Florida

Sister: Daniel, stop!
Brother: What is he doing?
Sister: He shoved a toothpick in my buttcrack… I hope I don’t get a splinter!

Overheard by: hm

Customer to clerk: Maybe my idea of sex is sticking a drill in your head.

Visible Voice Books
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: phoebe

Teen #1: Dude, gross!
Teen #2: Come on, man! Don’t act like that, you’ve wondered if it was worth it having your asshole licked during sex, too!
Teen #1: Yeah, but not by a fat Asian chick!
Stranger: Was it worth it?

Modern Skate and Surf
Royal Oak, Michigan

Confused guy on cell: What I don’t get is, what part of the country are there people like this? I mean, I draw the line at spitting in someone’s asshole!

Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: whylime

Marine #1: So, how was it?
Marine #2: Crazy. She wanted me to take a shit in her pussy. That’s fucking weird, man.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Soundbite Lover

Clarinet girl: I have, like, this fetish with office supplies, especially the electric stapler.
Friend: Oh my god! What?
Clarinet girl: Yeah, sometimes my roommate and I dance with it. And the boys above us creep at our window.
Friend: Oh… interesting.

Overheard by: Glad I don't live near them… And glad I wasn't stuck with either of them as a roommate.

Professor: … But then he said that maybe drag isn’t a great idea before you’re tenured.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Girl to boyfriend: Why'd you go and tell all the guys on the fifth floor that I have some crazy fetish with lubricating foods?
Guy: I didn't say anything!
Girl: Well, they were talking about the Nutella.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Laura G.

Kenny Chesney Never Mentioned That

Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Shotboy