Vertical Bars Are So Slimming

20-something goth/thug girl: Remember the time I went to jail? I didn’t want to leave!

Denny’s
San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: I didn’t want to be at dennys

Posted on May 25, 2026
Crimes, Default, Girls, Goths, Memory lane, Restaurants, Texas, Thugs, Weirdness, Wishes

Dude, You Suck at the Dozens

Young thug #1: Your momma is a rat.
Young thug #2: At least she isn’t a hood rat like your momma.
Young thug #1: Well at least everyone who is with my momma has a good time. I should know, I hear it.

Galleria
White Plains, New York

Overheard by: annoying blonde girl

Posted on April 17, 2026
Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Insults, New York, Pride, Sexuality, Teens, Thugs

So the Reverend Wrote That Down under “Burial Wishes”

Wannabe thug #1: So I told her: “Bitch, there’d better be flowers on my balls!”
Wannabe thug #2: Straight.

Mission Hill
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Henry

Posted on April 5, 2026
Balls, Friends, Massachusetts, Thugs, Words

Slylock Fox’s Puzzle: How Many Things Are Wrong with This Conversation?

Thug sitting in traffic yelling into cell: I moved you and the goddamn kids out here! I robbed muthafuckas for you! I’m facing five to ten goddamn years for you, and I can’t even get a goddamn thank you?! Bitch, you drunk?!

Highway
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: scaredspectator

Posted on January 27, 2026
Crimes, Etiquette, Family ties, Fears, Feelings, Florida, Gripes, Insults, On the phone, Threats, Thugs, Violence

And Had a Dream About It.

Thug on cell: Fuck off, man. Don’t even try arguing with me. I’m a fucking expert on this shit. I wikipedia-ed it last night.

Carousel Mall
Syracuse, New York

Posted on December 31, 2025
Advice, Bragging, Default, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Internet, Malls, New York, On the phone, Thugs

I’m Probably Not Doing My Part

Thug #1: Man, it’s so hard to be in a relationship these days.
Thug #2: Yeah, my relationships die faster than those goldfish you win at a carnival.

Columbus, Ohio

Posted on November 17, 2025
Compare and contrast, Default, Gripes, Ohio, Relationships, Thugs

Has He Given You a Satisfactory Answer to That Question?

Thugette, into phone: How it gon’ be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin’ the next?
Asian guy: It’s called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don’t need no science, nigga! I got God!

Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania