Waitress indicating empty seat: Would she like some dessert when she gets back?
Recently abandoned old man: No. She wasn’t feeling good so she went to the Hallmark Store.
Atlas Diner, Strawbridge
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Waitress indicating empty seat: Would she like some dessert when she gets back?
Recently abandoned old man: No. She wasn’t feeling good so she went to the Hallmark Store.
Atlas Diner, Strawbridge
Virginia Beach, Virginia
60-ish woman looking in door: I thought you had to have some hooters to be able to work at one.
Hooters
Burbank, California
Woman reading newspaper: I can’t believe how illiterate kids are these days. It says here that when they were asked who Joan of Arc was, many of them said she was Noah’s wife.
Girl: Who was she, Grandma?
Woman: She was the woman who grew her hair long and rode a horse naked.
Port Townsend, Washington
Old lady to son: People are like teabags. You know?
Wyoming
Old lady diner to captain: This food is amazing. I hope the chef is single, over 60, and horny.
Arnaud’s Restaurant, Bienville Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: The Frontwaiter
Little old lady: I’m not a Pina Colada type. Give me a Coors Light and a nice doobie and I’m good.
Women’s Gym
Studio City, California
Overheard by: urzzz
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Old man: I recently had surgery. What was it I had removed? Something that starts with a ‘P’…
Old lady: Was it your pancreas?
Old man: No… It wasn’t my penis, either, because I definitely still have that.
L.L. Bean Outlet
Wareham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Amanda
