Dude: So, is it true that you have herpes?
Drunk girl #1: What?! No!
Dude: Thank god!
Drunk girl #1: I had chlamydia and now I have HPV. I only told two people, and now the whole town thinks I have herpes!
Dude: [Stares.]Drunk girl #1, crying: Why does everyone know about my diseases?!
Drunk girl #2: Because you go to the bar, get trashed, and yell about it?
Bar
Newark, Ohio
Hungover teen girl #1: How was last night? You two have fun?
Hungover teen girl #2: Ohhh, we had a good time. [Suddenly looks confused] Do you think I should have told him about my STDs before we did? We were too drunk to find condoms…
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: sy ‘philis’ amgems
Excited blonde: Guess what I’m getting myself for a Valentine’s Day present? I’m getting tested for STDs!
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: not surprised
20-something to boyfriend: He was like syphilis on a stick!
Omaha, Nebraska
Hoochie: Yeah, I don’t know, but Josh and I totally hooked up for a while last year.
Friend: What? Why?!
Hoochie: What do you mean, ‘Why’? Josh is hot.
Friend: Dude, hooking up with Josh is like hanging a sign on your vagina that says, ‘Come on in, chlamydia.’ If I was looking for a communicable disease, Josh is the first place I’d go.
Hoochie: Oh…
California State University-Chico
Chico, California
Overheard by: Kimberly
[Line for ladies’ room]Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It’s urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh…[Suppresses laugh.]
Western Australia
Australia
Guy #1: Are you gonna get tested?
Guy #2: I think the Lauren thing pretty much takes care of it.
Guy #3: You should still get tested.
Guy #2: Yeeeah, but I don’t like getting blood taken from me and I don’t have any like, symptoms, so…
Guy #3: Well, I haven’t seen your penis.
Simon Fraser University
British Columbia
Canadia
Dude: I don’t believe in AIDS. I think STDs are just negative energy.
Corda Bar
São Paulo
Brazil
Girl: So we're telling them genital warts, then?
Devon
England
16-year-old: Mom, if you don't have herpes, why'd I find Valtrex in your purse?
Mother, seriously: I got Valtrex from the eye doctor for my yeast infection, Kim*.
Illinois
