20‐something to boyfriend: He was like syphilis on a stick!

Omaha, Nebraska

Hoochie: Yeah, I don’t know, but Josh and I totally hooked up for a while last year.
Friend: What? Why?!
Hoochie: What do you mean, ‘Why’? Josh is hot.
Friend: Dude, hooking up with Josh is like hanging a sign on your vagina that says, ‘Come on in, chlamydia.’ If I was looking for a communicable disease, Josh is the first place I’d go.
Hoochie: Oh…

California State University‐Chico
Chico, California

Overheard by: Kimberly

We Thought Only Americans Knew This Little About Sex Ed.

[Line for ladies’ room]Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It’s urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh…[Suppresses laugh.] 

Western Australia

Guy #1: Are you gonna get tested?
Guy #2: I think the Lauren thing pretty much takes care of it.
Guy #3: You should still get tested.
Guy #2: Yeeeah, but I don’t like getting blood taken from me and I don’t have any like, symptoms, so…
Guy #3: Well, I haven’t seen your penis.

Simon Fraser University
British Columbia

Dude: I don’t believe in AIDS. I think STDs are just negative energy.

Corda Bar
São Paulo

Girl: So we’re telling them genital warts, then?


16‐year‐old: Mom, if you don’t have herpes, why’d I find Valtrex in your purse?
Mother, seriously: I got Valtrex from the eye doctor for my yeast infection, Kim*.


Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don’t have cooties anymore!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma

Girl: Where you going?
Guy: I am gonna go get tested for AIDS!
Girl: What?
Guy: You know, HIV! It’s free!

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

LSAT instructor: So, these female sage grouse do a visual inspection to make sure the males don’t have an infection before mating. If I had the same attention to detail, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten chlamydia three times.

Ft. Worth, Texas

Overheard by: Not So Hot For Teacher