Math professor: Now, if there’s one thing you can’t do in Mathland, it’s divide by zero. If you divide by zero, I will personally hunt you down and shoot you.
Bellevue Community College
Washington
Overheard by: The Kid
Math professor: Now, if there’s one thing you can’t do in Mathland, it’s divide by zero. If you divide by zero, I will personally hunt you down and shoot you.
Bellevue Community College
Washington
Overheard by: The Kid
Mother to misbehaving five-year-old: Knock it off! I just got you a pedicure!
Forever 21
Lynnwood, Washington
Bubbly girl: I am so happy now!
Bubbly friend, holding her hand: Me, too! I can’t believe it!
Old man, stopping them in hallway: What are you two so happy about?
Bubbly girl: We just hit on each other!
Old man: So, are you girlfriends now?
Bubbly friend: Yes, we are!
Old man, after long pause: Two girls together… That is a wonderful thing.
Peninsula College
Pt. Angeles, Washington
Overheard by: Gidget
Guy: So, my Friday night was a little awkward.
Girl: How so?
Guy: Well, uh… I sort of… um… Made out with Lyndsey.
Girl: Lyndsey. As in, my ex-boyfriend’s little sister, Lyndsey?! I can’t believe this! What the hell is wrong with you?
Guy: Don’t hate me. It wouldn’t have happened if you were there to watch me! I blame you. Die.
Woodinville, Washington
Man: I’ve got basically everything I need — I’ve got the lentils and the sauce. All I need is the methadone and a babysitter.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Gavin
Daughter: How’s Bob doing?
Mother: He’s alive.
Daughter: Well, that’s good. We can’t have a dead cat on our front porch.
Spokane, Washington
Girl #1: Well, did you at least say thank you for the ride?
Girl #2, looking at #3: Well, you rode me. What do you say?
Girl #3: I enjoyed the ride!
Central Washington University
Ellensburg, Washington
Girl #1, reading menu: What’s ‘asparation’?
Girl #2: That’s when you have dreams.
Girl #1: … But what happens when you sautée them?
Port Angeles, Washington
Overheard by: Emily
Guy: Hello, pot, this is the kettle! You’re black!
Girl: I am not black. What are you talking about?
Guy: It’s a metaphor. Do you know what a metaphor is?
Girl: Yes — it’s a giant flaming rock that comes out of the sky. You never make any sense.
Seattle, Washington
Girl running for bus: Thank you!
Bus driver: Wait at the right stop.
Girl: Lose some weight.
Bus driver: Get off my bus.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: talks before she thinks
