Guy: So, my Friday night was a little awkward.
Girl: How so?
Guy: Well, uh… I sort of… um… Made out with Lyndsey.
Girl: Lyndsey. As in, my ex-boyfriend’s little sister, Lyndsey?! I can’t believe this! What the hell is wrong with you?
Guy: Don’t hate me. It wouldn’t have happened if you were there to watch me! I blame you. Die.
Woodinville, Washington
Man: I’ve got basically everything I need — I’ve got the lentils and the sauce. All I need is the methadone and a babysitter.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Gavin
Daughter: How’s Bob doing?
Mother: He’s alive.
Daughter: Well, that’s good. We can’t have a dead cat on our front porch.
Spokane, Washington
Girl #1: Well, did you at least say thank you for the ride?
Girl #2, looking at #3: Well, you rode me. What do you say?
Girl #3: I enjoyed the ride!
Central Washington University
Ellensburg, Washington
Girl #1, reading menu: What’s ‘asparation’?
Girl #2: That’s when you have dreams.
Girl #1: … But what happens when you sautée them?
Port Angeles, Washington
Overheard by: Emily
Guy: Hello, pot, this is the kettle! You’re black!
Girl: I am not black. What are you talking about?
Guy: It’s a metaphor. Do you know what a metaphor is?
Girl: Yes — it’s a giant flaming rock that comes out of the sky. You never make any sense.
Seattle, Washington
Girl running for bus: Thank you!
Bus driver: Wait at the right stop.
Girl: Lose some weight.
Bus driver: Get off my bus.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: talks before she thinks
Chick: Oh my god, Marissa! I just met a guy who’s looking for a girl to pee on him.
Marissa: I would totally do that!
Chick: I know! That’s why I told you.
Marissa: Let’s go find him!
Nightlight Lounge
Bellingham, Washington
Woman reading newspaper: I can’t believe how illiterate kids are these days. It says here that when they were asked who Joan of Arc was, many of them said she was Noah’s wife.
Girl: Who was she, Grandma?
Woman: She was the woman who grew her hair long and rode a horse naked.
Port Townsend, Washington
Party-goer: She is the only person I know who has a favorite appliance!
Moroccan restaurant
Seattle, Washington
