(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but…
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh… (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We're talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You're so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you'd never think about shoes again.
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Julia M
Girl: Do you know what a pearl necklace is?
Woman: I didn’t learn about any of that shit until I worked on the Senate floor.
Kokomo’s
Linglestown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: M.J.M.
English teacher: Calling someone a douche is not a constructive comment, even if it’s true.
Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Mother to son, after chatting with woman: I’m always extra nice to her because your father can’t stand her.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Dentist
Red-faced man, shouting furiously into cell: Now you listen to me you… (sees small children nearby) pluck-arsed parrot.
Gouger Street, Adelaide, South Australia
Loud guy on street corner: And over there is where I saw my first hooker!
Tremont and Boylston
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I heard him from -inside- a car
TSA agent, looking at ID: So Judy*, how are you doing today?
50-something woman: Fine. How are you?
TSA agent: You know, living the dream.
Security Terminal
Airport, Minneapolis
Girl to fourteen classmates: I do *everything* in the bathroom!
The Melting Pot
New Jersey
Overheard by: supersecret!
Mother to impatient son: Do you want to show me how you count?
Five-year-old: Ok. One. Two. Three. Fuck.
Mother: What!? Adam*, you know you’re not supposed to say…
Four-year-old: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Mother: Adam*, I said stop! That’s a very, very bad word.
Four-year-old, putting hands on ears: You fuck, you fuck, you fuck.
Holt Renfrew
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: M
Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there’s people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?
Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: How did it get there?
