Words

Little girl in shopping cart as dad pushes it away from the mom: We’re going to jettison mom! Woo-hoo!

Department store
Austin, Texas

Eight-year-old girl #1 tying scarf around head: We’re going to look like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: Like what?
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: What’s a gangsta?
Eight-year-old girl #1: It’s a gangster.
Eight-year-old girl #2: Oh.
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like the Jets.
Eight-year-old girl #2, suddenly understanding: Ohhh, okay!

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/no_aim_for_the_sharks.html

Overheard by: I think they paid a little too much attention to west side story

Boy #1 to girl as he throws wad of paper: Hey, heads up!
Boy #2: Whoa! She actually caught it!
Girl, shooting proud look at them: Yeah! Duh — I’m not illiterate.

Chemistry class
Friendswood, Texas

Angry guy on cell: Billy, I have one word for you — fucking piece of shit!

Sterling, Virginia

Chick: You see that banner? Okay, well, you see at the bottom where it says, ‘Friendship, Unity, Christian charity’? Now, I can spell, but I still think that they should reconsider their title when the acronym turns out to be F-U-C-C… Oh, come on, I can’t be the only one who finds that funny.

Connecticut

Overheard by: L. M.

Pilot over loudspeaker, while landing plane: Whoa there, big fella!

Delta Airlines flight

Girl #1, reading menu: What’s ‘asparation’?
Girl #2: That’s when you have dreams.
Girl #1: … But what happens when you sautée them?

Port Angeles, Washington

Overheard by: Emily

Guy: Hello, pot, this is the kettle! You’re black!
Girl: I am not black. What are you talking about?
Guy: It’s a metaphor. Do you know what a metaphor is?
Girl: Yes — it’s a giant flaming rock that comes out of the sky. You never make any sense.

Seattle, Washington

Health teacher: The four types of sexual activity we’re going to cover are vaginal intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, and mutual masturbation.
Eighth grader: Oral sex? Isn’t that, like, over the phone?

Pyle Middle School
Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: Next year the teacher preempted the question in her lecture

Student #1 seeing friend drinking Monster energy drink: Oh, I’ve never had a Monster. Can I have a taste?
Student #2: You don’t want to taste his AIDS-infested Monster!
Student #1, after long pause: Never. Say that. Again. Ever.

Doughnut shop
Huntington Beach, California