Computer science kid on phone: No, do the balls first, then the walls… Yes, the balls — do the balls. No, not walls first… Balls! Do balls first! Then you can check to see if they get moved and get larger. Yes, you want large balls, so do the balls first!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/long-time-no-update.html
Overheard by: probablysaiditall
Guy #1, at urinal: That bitch is out of control.
Guy #2, at urinal: Yeah, she’s all kinds of fucked up. She needs to chill.
Guy #1: She needs to fuckin’ simmer. Simmer and sauté.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/let-it-go-bobby-flay-just-let-it-go.html
Overheard by: teamcinnamon
Dude #1: … And she was just so sassy!
Dude #2: Don’t say ‘sassy’ — you know what it does to me.
Dude #1: Sssassyyy. [Dude #2 shudders orgasmically.]
Merrill F. West High School
Tracy, California
Man on phone, about his failing marriage: I did everything I could. I was nice to her, I let her do whatever she wanted, and this is what happens… Are you fucking kidding me? I was there for her 10-4!
1958 West Grand Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Roger roger
Four-year-old girl: You look like a hooker.
Young mom, laughing: That’s not very nice. Where did you learn that.
Four-year-old girl: Hooker, hooker, hooker.
Young mom, annoyed: You watch too much TV.
Dressing room
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Because that IS Barneys favorite word…
Little girl: Yay! It’s time for our swim vulvalations!
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Nic
Little girl in shopping cart as dad pushes it away from the mom: We’re going to jettison mom! Woo-hoo!
Department store
Austin, Texas
Eight-year-old girl #1 tying scarf around head: We’re going to look like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: Like what?
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: What’s a gangsta?
Eight-year-old girl #1: It’s a gangster.
Eight-year-old girl #2: Oh.
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like the Jets.
Eight-year-old girl #2, suddenly understanding: Ohhh, okay!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/no_aim_for_the_sharks.html
Overheard by: I think they paid a little too much attention to west side story
Boy #1 to girl as he throws wad of paper: Hey, heads up!
Boy #2: Whoa! She actually caught it!
Girl, shooting proud look at them: Yeah! Duh — I’m not illiterate.
Chemistry class
Friendswood, Texas
Angry guy on cell: Billy, I have one word for you — fucking piece of shit!
Sterling, Virginia
