Words

England Expects No Less

Little girl in bathroom stall with mother: Doody! It’s fun to say “doody” in the bathroom! Say “doody,” mom!

Whole Foods
West Orange, New Jersey

Overheard by: I almost said it myself.

Skater guy: I’m not into the unibutt.
Friend: The what?
Skater guy: You know, it’s like a unibrow, except a butt.
Friend: What are you talking about?
Skater guy: I am just giving my commentary on how style has affected my life.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-need-something-that-accentuates-crack.html

Overheard by:

Overenthusiastic principal: So, where’d ya guys go for lunch? Huh?
Jaded student (indicating Subway cup): I ate fresh.
Principal: Did you go the 6 inch route? Or the 12 inch?
Student: I, uhhh… 6.
Principal, grinning: Don’t worry, Shane* -I think you’re man enough to take a 12-inch.

Livingston, Montana

English teacher: Calling someone a douche is not a constructive comment, even if it’s true.

Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina

Red-faced man, shouting furiously into cell: Now you listen to me you… (sees small children nearby) pluck-arsed parrot.

Gouger Street, Adelaide, South Australia

Woman: Wooo! It’s wetter than a nymphomaniac in a gangbang out there.
Man: You’ve been waiting to say that for a long time, haven’t you?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Just Me

Little kid in bathroom with grandmother: Poopies, yay, yay! Poopies, yay yay!

Arby’s Bathroom
Howell, Michigan

Female voice over speakerphone: Maybe you shouldn’t listen to me. I just reached into my glass of milk to retrieve a cookie that I accidentally dropped to the bottom during dunking. Now I am covered in milk. I’ve got milk hands!
Fraternity guy: I thought you were trying to make your own metaphor, like “I don’t see the glass as half empty or half full, I see my hand in it retrieving cookies.”

Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Wants No Part Of This

Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis… penis… penis…

Ginza
Tokyo
Japan

Overheard by: Brian Milvid

Girl to fourteen classmates: I do *everything* in the bathroom!

The Melting Pot
New Jersey

Overheard by: supersecret!