Girl in dorm bathroom: I just love it when they shove evolution down my throat! That’s my favorite…

University of Wisconsin

Student: The trophoblast looks like a teething ring!
Sex ed teacher: Yes. It looks like a teething ring, but it's not.

UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Akuaku

High school girl: I’m so excited! I can’t wait to poop out just a little of this burrito!

Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin

Professor to creative writing class: This is probably one of the smartest things I've ever stumbled upon in my life, so I shouldn't blow my load this early.

University of Wisconsin

Overheard by: Mixi

Girl #1: A baby exploded on me today.
Girl #2: Did you just say “exploded”?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Ew!

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Mom: A 21-year-old girl from Oshkosh died today, but they aren’t saying how.
College daughter: A house blew up this morning… Well, a mobile home, actually.
Mom: And it killed that 21-year-old girl?!
College daughter: Well, no. They’re unrelated. Actually, I’m just trying to upstage you… But a house really did blow up.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Chick: I totally want to make out with Jesus. I mean, I like my boyfriend, but it’s Jesus… I’m totally going to Hell.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Guy: I don’t mean children should burn in hell, just burn a little. Like their hands.


Reporter, at man's house after he hit someone at a kids' soccer game: Sir, how do you feel about your behavior?
Man, coming up to the door holding bowl of macaroni and cheese: I am ashamed. I slap my own face.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin