Mom: A 21‐year‐old girl from Oshkosh died today, but they aren’t saying how.
College daughter: A house blew up this morning… Well, a mobile home, actually.
Mom: And it killed that 21‐year‐old girl?!
College daughter: Well, no. They’re unrelated. Actually, I’m just trying to upstage you… But a house really did blow up.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Chick: I totally want to make out with Jesus. I mean, I like my boyfriend, but it’s Jesus… I’m totally going to Hell.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Guy: I don’t mean children should burn in hell, just burn a little. Like their hands.


Reporter, at man’s house after he hit someone at a kids’ soccer game: Sir, how do you feel about your behavior?
Man, coming up to the door holding bowl of macaroni and cheese: I am ashamed. I slap my own face.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Guy: Death is a lot like life.
Girl: So I’ve heard.

Beloit, Wisconsin

Overheard by: I heard that too

Teen girl #1, looking at bookmarks: Oh – I would totally read if I had a cool bookmark!
Teen girl #2: Oh, me too, for sure!

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Teen girl: Well, I had to stop eating soap, but I’m sure I’ll be fine anyways!

Madison, Wisconsin

Student: The trophoblast looks like a teething ring!
Sex ed teacher: Yes. It looks like a teething ring, but it’s not.

UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Akuaku

Mom to barking, howling little boy: Stop that! Remember, you’re a person!

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

Overheard by: the girl with the hat