20-something hipster girl to another: So, anyway, no one is pregnant.
Sorella’s Diner
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
20-something hipster girl to another: So, anyway, no one is pregnant.
Sorella’s Diner
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Teenage girl: Ohmigod, guess what!
Boyfriend: What?
Teenage girl: I just ran over a possum and it humped my car!
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Bimbette government teacher, explaining checks and balances: So then, like, the national government says to the state government, “Um, you can’t do that, you little… like, state.”
Canton, Michigan
Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That’s it? Just “yep”?
Husband: Looks very different. It’ll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
American guy: Hmm, what should we have for desert?
French girl: I’ve been craving crab cakes. With frosting.
American guy: Uhh, you mean cupcakes?!
3rd St West Hollywood
Los Angeles, California
White HS boy, in fake deep voice: That’s why titties and Tater Tots don’t mix!
33X Bus
Nashville, Tennessee
Guy: I learned something… What did I learn? I learned that my son is a fatty.
Chick-fil-A
Marietta, Georgia
English teacher: A rhetorical question is a question you don’t expect an answer to. When a band yells, “Are you ready to rock?”, they’re not actually expecting someone to yell back, “Not quite, give us a couple more minutes.”
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Professor: So the wars of opium wars were fought because the Chinese didn’t want their citizens smoking their bongos and being loopy.
Student: Wait, bongos?
Professor: Yeah those pipe things… Bongos, right?
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Erika
