Wannabe thug #1: So I told her: “Bitch, there’d better be flowers on my balls!”
Wannabe thug #2: Straight.
Mission Hill
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Henry
Wannabe thug #1: So I told her: “Bitch, there’d better be flowers on my balls!”
Wannabe thug #2: Straight.
Mission Hill
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Henry
Chick: So, they haven’t actually had a mayor since the last one had to be euthanized…
Honors Lounge, Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Spanish prof: What’s the difference between a stone and a rock, English speakers?
Student #1: A stone is smooth and near water.
Student #2: A rock is big, like you can’t pick it up.
Spanish prof: Well, that would make sense. I mean, we stone people to death, we don’t rock them to death.
Cute girl student: It’s happened before.
De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl has a little crush on her
20-something hipster girl to another: So, anyway, no one is pregnant.
Sorella’s Diner
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Teenage girl: Ohmigod, guess what!
Boyfriend: What?
Teenage girl: I just ran over a possum and it humped my car!
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Bimbette government teacher, explaining checks and balances: So then, like, the national government says to the state government, “Um, you can’t do that, you little… like, state.”
Canton, Michigan
Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That’s it? Just “yep”?
Husband: Looks very different. It’ll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
American guy: Hmm, what should we have for desert?
French girl: I’ve been craving crab cakes. With frosting.
American guy: Uhh, you mean cupcakes?!
3rd St West Hollywood
Los Angeles, California
White HS boy, in fake deep voice: That’s why titties and Tater Tots don’t mix!
33X Bus
Nashville, Tennessee
Guy: I learned something… What did I learn? I learned that my son is a fatty.
Chick-fil-A
Marietta, Georgia
