Words

American guy: Hmm, what should we have for desert?
French girl: I’ve been craving crab cakes. With frosting.
American guy: Uhh, you mean cupcakes?!

3rd St West Hollywood
Los Angeles, California

White HS boy, in fake deep voice: That’s why titties and Tater Tots don’t mix!

33X Bus
Nashville, Tennessee

Guy: I learned something… What did I learn? I learned that my son is a fatty.

Chick-fil-A
Marietta, Georgia

English teacher: A rhetorical question is a question you don’t expect an answer to. When a band yells, “Are you ready to rock?”, they’re not actually expecting someone to yell back, “Not quite, give us a couple more minutes.”

Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Big sister: Look sis! This coat says it was made in Macedonia.
Little sister: Isn’t that a nut?

Macy’s at Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York

Professor: So the wars of opium wars were fought because the Chinese didn’t want their citizens smoking their bongos and being loopy.
Student: Wait, bongos?
Professor: Yeah those pipe things… Bongos, right?

Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Erika

Suit #1: I meant ‘tramp’ like a homeless person.
Suit #2: Ohhh. Well, that changes everything.

Yonge and College
Toronto
Canadia

Girl #1: All they talked about was fannies… And tits… And… Fuckin’… Something else.
Girl #2: Rugby.
Girl #1: Yeah. Rugby.

Warwick
England

Professor: So if we played the word association game, and I said the word “ice cream”, Tiffany might say “playground” because she used to eat ice cream on the playground. And then maybe if I said the words “ice cream” to Tom, he might say “sex” because he’s a serial rapist.
Tom: But I’m not.

SUNY
Geneseo, New York

Overheard by: Colin

Four-year old practising just before the pageant: Hark the herald, angels sing, glory to the New York king!

Church Christmas Pageant
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: thought NY was a Fifedom