Guy to another: Dude… just use Viagra.
School hallway
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Phoenix
Guy to another: Dude… just use Viagra.
School hallway
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Phoenix
Girl: … And so everyday I was like, ‘I just want some of that big sausage!’
University of Ottawa
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Lizzie
Student: Professor Barnes*, can you please explain where you got the last line there?
Professor: [Looks at blackboard, turns back to the class, and clasps his hands] It came from God.
University of Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: stopped going to class after this
Ghetto girl: Did you know that half my weight is in my ass?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: You have a ghetto booty?
Ghetto girl: Yeah, I went to the doctor’s and he said, ‘Yo, half your weight is in your ass,’ and my mother laughed her head off.
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Guy #1: Okay, sure — you can use a transporter to beam your body down to another planet, but what happens to your soul?
Guy #2: Yeah…
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Paul Cowling
Drunk guy: Your vag is made of butter!
Drunk girl: What?!
Drunk guy: Your vag is made of butter!
Drunk girl and friend: Ewww!
Drunk guy: Yeah, I know — that’s so bad!
Queen Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Ras
Guy #1: Me and Jeff and doin’ some drugs tonight. Wanna come?
Guy #2: I don’t do drugs.
Guy #1: You smoked pot with me the other day.
Guy #2: Weed isn’t a drug.
Guy #1: Yes, it is!
Guy #2: No, it’s not… [To passerby] Is weed a drug?
Passerby: Depends.
Holy Trinity Catholic High School
Kanata, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: RG
Guest professor on psychoanalysis, responding to student question: It will be like… Shit equals penis equals money.
Graduate Literature Theory class
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I heart grad school
High school girl: Yeah, he’s cute, but in a kind of Lord of the Rings way.
Starbucks, Bloor Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Myrna
Girl #1: I don’t really like Kate.
Girl #2: Watch what you say about her — she’s my best friend!
Girl #1: Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize.
Girl #2: Yeah, we’re really close… Except for when she’s being a self-centered bitch.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: That’s what I call loyalty
