Girl: So, my boyfriend couldn’t take off my bra. I told him I’d wear the front-clasp one next time. He was like, ‘I don’t want your pity bra!’ Wanna try?
Queer pal, trying to remove bra: Oh my god! This is not a pity bra! This is the meanest bra in the whole world!
Montreal
Canadia
Drunk guy to drunk girl: … But I haven’t even slept with you yet!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: amused passerby
Little girl in bathroom: But Mommy, I’m working on a really big poop!
Embarrassed mother: Honey, everyone in the bathroom does not need to hear that!
Boston Pizza, 50th Street
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Guy to another: Dude… just use Viagra.
School hallway
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Phoenix
Girl: … And so everyday I was like, ‘I just want some of that big sausage!’
University of Ottawa
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Lizzie
Student: Professor Barnes*, can you please explain where you got the last line there?
Professor: [Looks at blackboard, turns back to the class, and clasps his hands] It came from God.
University of Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: stopped going to class after this
Ghetto girl: Did you know that half my weight is in my ass?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: You have a ghetto booty?
Ghetto girl: Yeah, I went to the doctor’s and he said, ‘Yo, half your weight is in your ass,’ and my mother laughed her head off.
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Guy #1: Okay, sure — you can use a transporter to beam your body down to another planet, but what happens to your soul?
Guy #2: Yeah…
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Paul Cowling
Drunk guy: Your vag is made of butter!
Drunk girl: What?!
Drunk guy: Your vag is made of butter!
Drunk girl and friend: Ewww!
Drunk guy: Yeah, I know — that’s so bad!
Queen Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Ras
Guy #1: Me and Jeff and doin’ some drugs tonight. Wanna come?
Guy #2: I don’t do drugs.
Guy #1: You smoked pot with me the other day.
Guy #2: Weed isn’t a drug.
Guy #1: Yes, it is!
Guy #2: No, it’s not… [To passerby] Is weed a drug?
Passerby: Depends.
Holy Trinity Catholic High School
Kanata, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: RG
