Canadia

Don’t Crazy Canadians Just Become U.S. Citizens?

Hipster chick: Did I ever tell you about my childhood Princess Leia obsession?
Hipster dude: No, you never told me about a Princess Leia thing. Oh, wait, maybe you did. Did it involve pastries on your head to simulate hair buns?
Hipster chick: No, that must have been another girlfriend.
Hipster dude: No! Or maybe the pastry buns was me. I repress so many memories.
Hipster chick: Probably smart.
Hipster dude: It’s working okay so far.
Hipster chick: Yeah. You barely need therapy.

15th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Donna, This Tastes Like You

Girl #1: Ew, this sushi is like jizz! Here, eat some so I’m not the only one.
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Come on, put it in your mouth. Just taste it. Just a little bit. I don’t want to be the only one!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/05/01/you-dont-even-want-to-try-the-terriyaki/

Overheard by:

Or As We Like to Call It, “A Liberal Education”

Professor: Okay, let’s go fill your heads with useless crap.

Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Meech

If the Lifetime Channel Began Programming for Men

Guy #1: So, it’s cold outside — should we take the underground tunnel?
Guy #2: I dunno… It’s kind of sketchy down there. Don’t blame me if we get raped by a gang of chimpanzees.

Montreal
Canadia

Just Hold His Penis and Ask Him

Fruit fly: Does he like me?! I think he might, but if he doesn’t… He has to know that I like him! Or am I being too obvious?
Queer friend: Ugh! Heterosexual relationships make me queasy!

Montreal
Canadia

Oh, Fuck It — His Body Was the Only Good Thing about Him

Girl on phone: I mean, his body was the best thing about him… Wait, that’s mean. I meant, physically his body was the best thing about him.

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

And Everything They Say Is Grounded in Reality

Ugly girl #1: What happened to you? You used to be so photogenic!
Ugly girl #2: I am photogenic! Even the born-again Christian who came to my house said so!

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: blue block

Sometimes I Add Light Slapping.

Man: Hey, asshole, get off the cellphone.
Dude: Excuse me…?
Man: The street car is a public space. Get off the cellphone or get off the street car!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes! I don’t want to have to hear you yapping away–
Dude: –Why don’t you get off, then, buddy?
Man: This is a public space! Stop polluting the space with your hot air!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes.
Dude: No! [Into cell] Oh, nothing, Bruce. Just some loser on the street car…
Man: Hey!
Dude: Yeah?
Man: You’re fat and ugly, you know that?
Dude, leaving: Screw you!
Man, to entire street car: I do this every Sunday…

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: damn hiatus

And Following Them to Their Logical Conclusion

Discouraged guy to pal: I can’t stop having erections!

St-Jean Street
Old Quebec City
Canadia

Overheard by: My mom u-turned on the sidewalk and started running after him!

Plus, You Get to Have Boobs

Asian girl: Well, I don’t know what it’s like being white.
White girl: You feel guilty all the time.
White guy: Yeah, for things you never did.
Asian girl: Awesome!

Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Meech

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