Professor: Okay, let’s go fill your heads with useless crap.
Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Professor: Okay, let’s go fill your heads with useless crap.
Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Guy #1: So, it’s cold outside — should we take the underground tunnel?
Guy #2: I dunno… It’s kind of sketchy down there. Don’t blame me if we get raped by a gang of chimpanzees.
Montreal
Canadia
Fruit fly: Does he like me?! I think he might, but if he doesn’t… He has to know that I like him! Or am I being too obvious?
Queer friend: Ugh! Heterosexual relationships make me queasy!
Montreal
Canadia
Girl on phone: I mean, his body was the best thing about him… Wait, that’s mean. I meant, physically his body was the best thing about him.
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Ugly girl #1: What happened to you? You used to be so photogenic!
Ugly girl #2: I am photogenic! Even the born-again Christian who came to my house said so!
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: blue block
Man: Hey, asshole, get off the cellphone.
Dude: Excuse me…?
Man: The street car is a public space. Get off the cellphone or get off the street car!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes! I don’t want to have to hear you yapping away–
Dude: –Why don’t you get off, then, buddy?
Man: This is a public space! Stop polluting the space with your hot air!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes.
Dude: No! [Into cell] Oh, nothing, Bruce. Just some loser on the street car…
Man: Hey!
Dude: Yeah?
Man: You’re fat and ugly, you know that?
Dude, leaving: Screw you!
Man, to entire street car: I do this every Sunday…
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: damn hiatus
Discouraged guy to pal: I can’t stop having erections!
St-Jean Street
Old Quebec City
Canadia
Overheard by: My mom u-turned on the sidewalk and started running after him!
Asian girl: Well, I don’t know what it’s like being white.
White girl: You feel guilty all the time.
White guy: Yeah, for things you never did.
Asian girl: Awesome!
Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Roommate #1, awkwardly: Hey, do you think we could talk about, um, what happened on Friday?
Roommate #2: Oh?
Roommate #1: We were in here, and you were saying that my board hasn’t done anything yet and we’re misusing student funds by going on a board retreat. Remember that?
Roommate #2: Oh.
Roommate: Well, then I got up and went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of lemon and honey tea…
Roommate #2: Okay…
Roommate #1: Well, I used Angie’s* lemon juice right in front of you, and I think you saw me, and I was wondering if that offended you.
Roommate #2: No, I didn’t even notice.
Roommate #1: Oh, okay… Good… Because it’s been on my mind all weekend, and I just wanted to clear that up because it seemed like you were mad at me after that.
Canadia
Three-year-old girl to dad: I spy with my little eye… somethiiing… IKEA!
Queen Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
