Teacher: There was this black guy streaking at night. I mean, it's not like you could see anything!
Canadia
Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No…
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.
The Mall
Victoria
Canadia
Teen girl #1: Ugh, I get so gassy when I'm on my rag.
Teen girl #2: I'm just gassy all the time!
Teen girl #1: Ugh, I know.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Guy in men's room: Come on, it's first year Spanish, not life on the streets.
University of Guelph
Canadia
Guy #1: Let's become a band of traveling acrobats!
Guy #2: …yes.
Toronto
Canadia
Girl: Oh, and guess what else happened?
Boyfriend: What?
Girl: I got my period again! What the hell?!
Eaton Centre, Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Pilot: And if you have any comments or questions, go ahead and look me up on Facebook.
Vancouver
Canadia
Professor, during a discussion about Lear’s daughters in King Lear: well, don’t you guys ever lie?
(class stays silent)
Professor: You all lie, especially the girls.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Professor: The dew line -by the way, any Rush fans in here?
(three or four raise hands in a class of 200)
Professor: Only three? That’s a sad state of affairs.
Canadian History Lecture
University of Toronto
Canadia
