Dude: Hey I’m Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I’m Lauren*. We’ve met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other’s name since we’re talking about anal.
The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: just here for the show
Dude: Hey I’m Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I’m Lauren*. We’ve met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other’s name since we’re talking about anal.
The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: just here for the show
Chick: Man, I hate vacations! I always end up over-packing, and then I never get laid!
Kingston
Jamaica
Chick on cell: Well, they had their flaws, but you know what I mean… I was thinking about Mike last night. Oh, how I would like to get back with him now that I’m kind of looking for a relationship and he’s not on speed anymore…
Oklahoma
Chick on cell: You can do that naked?!
Dude: Honey, you can do a lot of things naked.
Blockbuster Video
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Revulsion of People
Chick, breaking long silence: Look! An Asian!
Everyone on bus, in unison: Yay!
High school bus
Englewood, Colorado
Chick #1: Sarah took her retarded sister-in-law to the game last night. They ended up getting drunk and going to a strip club. She really is retarded.
Chick #2: Like, literally retarded?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Well, that sounds like an interesting night…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Wish I could’ve been there
Girl #1: He has, like, ACD or something!
Girl #2: You mean ‘OCD.’
Girl #3: No, you mean ‘ADD.’
Girl #1: Wait, no. I meant depression. He has depression.
Wal-Mart
Syracuse, New York
Girl: An Ambien in the shower is almost as good as a Screwdriver in the shower.
Lexington, Virginia
Overheard by: Kelly
Girl on cell in busy hallway: Will you assholes shut up?! I’m trying to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend here!
Punk: When you get done breaking up with him, can I fuck you?
Girl on cell: No!
Punk: Not even anal?
Macomb Community College
Warren, Michigan
Roommate #1, awkwardly: Hey, do you think we could talk about, um, what happened on Friday?
Roommate #2: Oh?
Roommate #1: We were in here, and you were saying that my board hasn’t done anything yet and we’re misusing student funds by going on a board retreat. Remember that?
Roommate #2: Oh.
Roommate: Well, then I got up and went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of lemon and honey tea…
Roommate #2: Okay…
Roommate #1: Well, I used Angie’s* lemon juice right in front of you, and I think you saw me, and I was wondering if that offended you.
Roommate #2: No, I didn’t even notice.
Roommate #1: Oh, okay… Good… Because it’s been on my mind all weekend, and I just wanted to clear that up because it seemed like you were mad at me after that.
Canadia
