Girl #1: So, how long has it been?
Girl #2: Hmmm… about seven months or so.
Girl #3: What are you gonna do about it?
Girl #2: Hold a funeral for my vagina.

Prince Albert’s Diner

Overheard by: al

Chick: I can never place his accent–it's like he lives south- but his accent's eastern too.
Guy: Maybe he lives… south east? I don't know.
Chick: No, he lives in Illinois- that's north-south.

New York

30-ish blonde: Yeah, my three o’clock appointment canceled, so I lasered off my pubes.

Newcastle, Oklahoma

Chick #1, fawning over little pup: Oh my god, he is sooo adorable. Hellooo! Hellooo there, little guy! Awww, so cute. [She and her friend walk away.]Chick #2: Oh, he was so cute! I wish I could have one.
Chick #1: I wish I could have stepped on the little thing and squished its little head.

Chick: I totally want to make out with Jesus. I mean, I like my boyfriend, but it’s Jesus… I’m totally going to Hell.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Chick #1: Was she cute?
Chick #2: No, she was fugs! She looked like an anorexic bear. You know, like, at the circus? One of the ones that are tortured… And forced to wear party hats.

Red Line train
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: I totally know what you mean…

Chick to friend: Well, it’s not as if you were ever going to be elected president of the cock fan club, now was it?

Melbourne University

Overheard by: Wylis

Girl: Hey, you’re that chick I stalk on MySpace!

Girl #1: I’m Jewish.
Girl #2: I’m Catholic.
Girl #3: I’m Christian.
Girl #2: What kind of Christian?
Girl #3: Plain. Plain Christian.

Freedom Center
Manassas, Virginia

Overheard by: Amused Counselor

20-something to boyfriend: He was like syphilis on a stick!

Omaha, Nebraska