Tired-looking girl to security officer: Are you the guy who’s going to burn my taco?

Dallas-Fort Worth Airport

Girl: Shit! I’ve been out of commission for, like, one week and there’s already three new gay words!

Casa dos Artistas Fashion Show
São Paulo

Chick #1: Oh my god, Latonya! You should’ve written down ‘Bubbles’!
Chick #2: Bubbles?
Latonya: Yeah, that’s my gangster name. I know it’s not tough, but I still like it!

All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario

Overheard by: male student reluctantly forced into a group

Chick: … So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning…


Overheard by: gin

Girl #1: Do I look okay?
Girl #2: Yeah, you look cute.
Girl #1: Cute like you want to sleep with me?

Chick on cell: Yeah, mom, listen: I'm trying to buy some weed. Yeah, I'll call you back if I get any. Okay, love you too. Bye.

Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Adrienne

Girl #1: I’ve been feeling so weird lately.
Girl #2: You’re probably pregnant.
Girl #1: … What?
Girl #2: I was kidding.
Girl #1: Oh-fuck-oh-fuck-oh-fuck — when was my last period?!

Piccadilly Line

Overheard by: BoogyFantastic

Chick #1, to class: Sorry I stink. I just got back from soccer practice.
Chick #2: That’s okay. My cat peed on my shirt before I left the house.

Palm Bay, Florida

Girl: Every time I walk into Stop ‘N Shop and get a whiff of Irish Spring I think of your testicles.

Seton Hall University
South Orange, New Jersey

Overheard by: Never will think of Irish Spring the same way again

Chick: Brazilians are the bomb.
Dude: Eastern European chicks are always sooo hot because they can’t afford food.