Distressed girl: I don’t know how many bitches I have!

Overheard by: queer engineer

Thugette #1: Girl, you slept wif him?!
Thugette #2: I know — he ugly and got crabs, but I made him buy me drugs first.
Thugette #1: True dat.

Campus shuttle, Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Steveo

Girl #1: It was the size of a Double-A battery.
Girl #2: Best sex ever, right?
Girl #1, shamefully: I don’t know what’s wrong with me!

Miami, Florida

Chick #1: Sometimes I talk to my guy friends about the difference between women who are hot and women who are beautiful.
Chick #2: Which would they rather be with?
Chick #1: Hot in high school, but beautiful for getting married, because she’ll be beautiful forever.
All chicks: Awww!
Chick #3: That is so deep.

Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: Holly Golightly

Blonde girl: Haha, imagine if my flange was a romantic love chasm… It's more of a cheeky fuckhole.


Overheard by: Gibson

Chick #1: I’m telling her the dumpling story.
Chick #2: Which story? Oh, the one about how people get off on being peed on?
Chick #1: What?!

Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Ladle

Girl: She’s like a horny guy, only not horny and not a guy.

Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California

Frisbee girl #1 [of five in a circle]: Hey, we form the points of a pentagon! We could do some serious magic here!
Frisbee girl #2, to others: Please forgive her, she just joined a cult.


High chick spotting dirty hippie: Oooh! He’s cute!
Drunk chick: No, he’s dirty!
High chick: He looks like Jesus!
Sober chick: He might look like Jesus, but he smells like shit!


Overheard by: Designated Driver

Chick #1: Mike Dunleavy went to a Catholic school, and Troy Murphy went to a Jesuit school.
Chick #2: They're star-crossed lovers! One is a Catholic, the other a Jesuit!

Pepsi Center
Denver, Colorado