Sad girl: My mom totally jacked my vibrator.
Friend: That sucks! I can lend you mine, if you want.

Queen’s University

Chick looking at Bratz dolls: What happened to Barbie? Who are these people? Why are they trying to sell my five-year-old sister a doll that looks like a prostitute?

Mount Vernon, New York

Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um… no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!

Salem, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Jenna

Loud girl: And my mother said to me, “Well, I guess you're an adult now, since you have adult sex.” And I was like, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” and she was like, “I opened your cupboard.” and I was thinking, “Oh shit!” because I've got a lot of shit in there. I've got porn, I've got a vibrator, a cock ring. I've got things she doesn't even know what to call them!

University of Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alex Remnick

Guy, about his job: Right now, we are working on a line where you can make a customized branded dildo to fit your needs.
Woman who just told everyone she is pregnant: That's fantastic!

City Vino Restaurant
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: entertained witness

Boy holding slinky: I feel weird.
Boy holding other end: It's okay. We've got a slinky!

High School
Eugene, Oregon

Man to wife: You can bring the Beanie Babies if you really want.


Overheard by: Randy

Gay man: Listen, we've all shat, we've all farted, we've all touched ourselves, and we've all used a dildo.
Girls: Ummm… no.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Girl on cell: We’re going to vibe her vagina. Well, not vibe it.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: K

Security guard to woman who just drove over the curb: Are you drunk?
Woman driver: No, she (points to passenger) was distracting me with my vibrator!

Hospital Parking Lot
Denver, Colorado