Chick #1 exiting bathroom stall: I can’t believe I’m getting my gun tomorrow.
Chick #2: Yeah… Too bad they can’t put color in it. It’s going to be pretty ugly.
Chick #1: It’s a gun.
Chick #2: Doesn’t mean it has to be ugly.
Chick #1: Yeah, it would be cool in purple.
Grand Junction, Colorado
30-ish lady: What grade are you in?
Little girl: Third grade. I can do math problems.
30-ish lady: Okay, well, if you have three dogs, two cats and four fish, how many animals do you have, total?
Little girl: … Ummm, nine.
30-ish lady: Well, yeah, sort of… If you count fish as animals, but really they’re amphibians.
Movie theater
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: ak
Lady: Wait, are you telling me that K.D. Lang is a lesbian?! How do you know?!
K.D. Lang/Lyle Lovett concert, Red Rocks Amphitheater
Colorado
Girlfriend: Oooh! Baby, we should get a dozen donuts!
Boyfriend: Okay. Do you wanna pick six, and I’ll pick six? [Girlfriend gives icy stare.] Fine, you pick all twelve. I don’t care.
Girlfriend: Twelve? I said I want a dozen.
Boyfriend: Um, honey, twelve is a dozen.
Girlfriend: I know what a dozen is, and it’s not fucking twelve! I’m not fucking stupid, you know!
Boyfriend: You’re, like 25 years old! How can you not know what a dozen is?
Girlfriend: I know what a fucking dozen is! [Looks around] What the fuck are all of you laughing at?!
King Soopers Dairy
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: We were right to point and laugh
Extremely drunk man: You know, I don’t think prime numbers are going to introduce us to aliens… But I think Chuck Berry will.
The Old Hole
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: E
Freshman chick #1: It’s like, I came home and, like, three months had passed for me, but, like, not for everyone else.
Freshman chick #2: Yeah, my bed is too short now.
Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: lith
Girl yelling out window to friend: Bitch! I am the motherfuckin’ bishop Don Juan of proving points!
Colfax bus
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: lauren
Little boy: No! But Daddy, I want you to spank me!
Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado
Bellhop #1: Oops… Almost forgot to bring my blueberry and honey-flavored tea!
Bellhop #2: Don’t forget your vagina.
The Cliff House
Manitou Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: AR
20-something #1: Let's get into publishing.
20-something #2: Only if it's porn.
20-something #1: Well, of course.
20-something #2: For women. Graphic pornography for women.
20-something #1: I think they already have that.
20-something #2: Giant diamond encrusted wangs, artfully displayed on wedgewood.
Denver, Colorado
