Colorado

Chick #1: The problem with buying a house seized by the police? Someone could have been murdered there.
Chick #2: That’s not a problem, that’s a bonus!

Aurora, Colorado

Tall chick: I wish I could find a nice, tall guy.
Friend #1: My brother is 6’5″.
Tall chick: Is he cute?
Friend: Well…
Friend #2: He looks like a Mexican pedophile.
Tall chick: 6’5″, eh? I’ll think about it.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Teacher: I’m leaving for a few minutes. Ted*, you’re in charge.
Ted*: Alright, everyone get naked.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Mother: You got into college!
Teenage daughter: I can finally join Facebook!

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Homeless woman to preppy kid in pink shirt: Don’t mix your reds and your whites!

Boulder, Colorado

Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?

Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado

Goth chick: Don’t talk to me about the year 2012. The year 2012 is seriously pissing me off.
Otaku chick: Try to stick around for 2013 anyway. Just trust me on this one.

University Plaza
Colorado State

Feminist speaker: What does feminism mean to you?
Dude: Lack of delicious sandwich?

Catholic High School classroom
Aurora, Colorado

Dad pushing stroller: [Singing.] Got a stroller so tight, you don’t have to walk, got a stroller so tight, it’ll fuck you up.

Denver, Colorado

Planned parenthood speaker: I’m here to talk to you about birth control.
Chick, ecstatic: This really is the best Christmas ever!

High School Assembly
Englewood, Colorado