30-ish blonde: Yeah, my three o’clock appointment canceled, so I lasered off my pubes.

Newcastle, Oklahoma

30-something male student to teacher: I keep having sex with these girls, and I go for 30 minutes… or sometimes and hour. They don't come. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with them?
Female professor, confidently: It sounds like you're rubbing 'em raw!

Community College
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Mom, with neck tattoo reading “ape” to toddler daughter picking produce: Put that back. That is not what you think it is.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kathyp

Girl #1: I hallucinated that you and my boyfriend had sex in the spirit world! I think I hallucinated I was using an umbrella in the shower this morning.
Girl #2: Uh. No… Sorry, I found one in our shower.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!

Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma

Guy: Men are bastards. I'm a man.
Girl: Then what does that make you?
Guy: Huh?
Girl: You said men are bastards. So then what does that make you?
Guy, not paying attention: Wanna dance?

Norman, Oklahoma

Emo teen girl with water bottle: I mean, it’s not like I’m drinking all this just to pass a drug test. It would be nice to pass one, though…

Jenks, Oklahoma

Boyfriend: But baby, I don’t want bloody arms!
Girlfriend: Then talk to me about my feet!

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?

Norman, Oklahoma

Chick: I really think my gynecologist helps our relationship, though.

Edmond, Oklahoma