[Teacher rises from desk and moves to white board while carrying sheet of paper.]
Student: What are you doing? [Teacher begins writing on white board.] What are you doing?!
Teacher: I’m writing down your homework!
Student: Oh, I thought you were going to hurt us.
Teacher: I’m just holding a piece of paper!
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Giggling student
Italian exchange student: Why do you celebrate Thanksgiving in America?
Teacher: Because of the pilgrims! Anyone want to explain?
Student: The pilgrims can suck it!
Marcos de Niza High School
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: J.
Black student #1, to teacher: Ayo, man! Naw, naw [babbles on, but no one can understand].
Teacher: … What?
Black student #2: Man, I’m black and I didn’t even understand that!
Manassas, Virginia
Undergrad girl in pajamas: … So then the cops realized that they had the wrong guy on his knees.
Undergrad friend in pajamas: What? Why?
Undergrad girl in pajamas: ‘Cause the guy who did it had a ponytail.
Undergrad friend in pajamas: Damn! The coolest stuff happens after I leave.
Tufts University dining hall
Medford, Massachusetts
Student: Okay, so maybe he was inside me and I was moving around, but it wasn’t sex.
Williamsburg, Virginia
Student: So, I went to the state library the other day.
Friend: What was it like?
Student: Well, I never made it into the actual book section.
City bus
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Sara
Professor: Who can tell me the difference between a birch tree and a beech tree?
Student: A beech tree’s got lighter bark.
Professor: But otherwise there’s no difference?
Student: I dunno ’bout the leaves or anything, but when you buy furniture from IKEA, beech wood’s always lighter.
Professor: But could you identify a birch tree from a beech tree if you saw one on campus?
Student: If I cut it down, maybe.
http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/
Overheard by:
Teacher, reading paper by student #1: ‘I’m not living my life yet.’ Then whose life are you living?
Student #1, pointing to student #2: His.
Mount Abraham Union High School
Bristol, Vermont
High school student #1: Sir, what movie are we going to be watching?
Teacher: Well, until we get the VCR fixed, we’ll be watching dead air.
High school student #2: What year was that movie made, sir?
Bus
Windsor, Ontario
Canadia
Dude on cell: I was so excited we got new washers in the dorm laundry room… I know! You can wash, like, an entire homeless person in those!
University of North Texas
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: Big Rob
