Students

Student, as professor walks into classroom: Tomorrow's Earth Day!
Professor: Yesterday was 4/20!

Classroom, College of Marin
Marin County, California

Excited blonde: Guess what I’m getting myself for a Valentine’s Day present? I’m getting tested for STDs!

Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: not surprised

Fat female student: I'm thirty-eight years old with a criminal justice degree, and I still can't find nothin' to do in this valley. Nobody's hirin', nothin'.
Skinny female student: Couldn't you just be a cop?
Fat female student: I can't be a cop. They give me a badge an' a gun, I'd be shootin' at fags and wetbacks. I mean, in this day in age… Not to be rude or anything…

Bookstore
West Virginia University

Male student during history class: Why are the women in these nude paintings so plump?
Professor: Because the artists had good taste.
Female student: That's right!

University of Missouri

Overheard by: Kathryn Bjornstad

Peer-taught health class leader: Do not open condoms with a knife.

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Professor: Okay, time to get back to class.
Student: But this conversation is so rewarding.
Professor: Sorry, but some of us have to go out drinking later tonight.

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Professor to creative writing class: This is probably one of the smartest things I've ever stumbled upon in my life, so I shouldn't blow my load this early.

University of Wisconsin

Overheard by: Mixi

Undergrad, explaining why he can't answer a question: I'm just tired today. I'm sorry.
Very old professor, non-native English speaker: You are tired?
Student: Yes, I'm sick.
Very old professor: What disease do you have?
Student: I…uh, it's just a cold.
Very old professor: Yes, a cold is not considered disease. You are healthy. You are alive!

Classroom, University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado

Burly male college student: I don't want to put my bare feet somewhere where someone's already put their bare feet.

Murray State University
Kentucky

30-something male student to teacher: I keep having sex with these girls, and I go for 30 minutes… or sometimes and hour. They don't come. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with them?
Female professor, confidently: It sounds like you're rubbing 'em raw!

Community College
Tulsa, Oklahoma