Conductor: Welcome on board the 4:15 service to Wolverhampton, calling at Smethwick, Sandwell and… Oh god, my head… (mic cuts out for a while) Sandwell… and Dudley, and Wolverhampton… (breathes heavily, deep sigh, mic cuts out again)
Birmingham to Wolverhampton Train
England
Overheard by: xSJBx
T conductor, over loudspeaker: Sir! The world is not your toilet!
Park St. Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Conductor: This is not the airport station. You will know it when you see it. I will make a big deal about it when we get there.
BART Station
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Glad my iPod was off
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are normally a six-car train. Today they gave us four cars. I cried, I begged, but to no avail. (10 minutes later) Next stop, Secaucus! Hang on, we're gonna make it!
Transit Train
New Jersey
Overheard by: twoferrets
Conductor: Welcome aboard to all the new passengers. The time is 9:11. Actually… Let’s make that 9:12. That’s better, isn’t it?
Washington, DC
Conductor, at the end of introductory speech: And, ladies and gentlemen, in the event of an emergency… you all know what to do.
Train
St. Louis, Missouri
Train operator: Orange line to Vienna. If you are on the platform, you better hurry up. Cause I'm not going to let you slow me down.
Metro
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Reject
Conductor: Do not buy anything from the man in the yellow shirt and white tennis shoes. He will be arrested.
Subway
Los Angeles, California
Conductor: Next stop, Chiswick. (trailing off) Chiswick… Chiswick… Cheese balls… Cheese balls…balls. (normal tone) Next stop, Chiswick.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Stefa
Trolley driver, approaching Bush Street: Anyone for Bush? Then get off! Anyone? Anyone? (no one moves) Thank god!
San Francisco, California
