England

American tween boy, about show tune blaring through iPod earphones: I can play this on my armpit.

Heathrow Airport
London
England

Disgruntled mother: If I catch you biting your nails again, I am going to cut off your hair in your sleep.

Gloucester Road
London
England

Overheard by: Never want to have children

Builder to another during break: Mate, I tell you — that fish was happy.

Dalston
London
England

Seven-year-old son: And then you two are going to go home and… (whistles)
Father: Meaning?
Seven-year-old son: Have sex.
Mother: Darren!
Five-year-old son: Don't be silly! Girls don't have sex.

London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Girl: She showed me, like, everything, and stuff like that.

Dagenham
England

Overheard by: Anthony Mercer

Respectable, middle-aged woman: I have considered becoming an alcoholic.

Devon
England

Overheard by: Jess

Normal, fairly cute boy: Excuse me.
Normal, fairly cute girl: Yes? (stops walking)
Normal, fairly cute boy: Are you interested in any global issues? Aids, the environment, human rights?
Normal, fairly cute girl: Honestly, no. (walks away)
Normal, fairly cute boy: Oh. (looks really confused and a little crushed)

Outside Library
University of York
England

Overheard by: Even I thought it was a bit harsh!

Paralytically drunk trainee Russian orthodox priest, lying on pool table, smoking a joint: Fuck! I've got to get to church in two hours…

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Guy #1: Yeah, me and that guy have had a total communication breakdown…like, he was talking to me about tin foil! I dunno.
Guy #2, after a pause: Yeah, we should get some lottery tickets.

Exeter
England

Chick: … So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning…

London
England

Overheard by: gin