England

Wild-haired diner outside restaurant (seriously): If I don't get tenure next year, I don't know what I'll do. I'll have to … I don't know … I'll have to just blog about it.

Bloomsbury, London
England

Customer: Excuse me, why is your “chocolate mud pie” the only dessert on the menu not labeled “vegetarian”?
Waitress: That's because it has cream in it.
Customer: Your other desserts have cream in them and are labeled “vegetarian”!
Waitress: Yeah well, the cream in the chocolate mud pie is made from meat.

London
England

Drunk girl stumbling down the street with open umbrella on a sunny day: Shhhh, we have to pretend to be sober.

Leeds
England

Girl to boyfriend: My ass is not a magic 8-ball.

Cornmarket Street
Oxford
England

Old woman to granddaughter: I saw her the other day, and all the fat from her face has slipped down to her boobs.

Piccadilly Circus
London
England

Overheard by: lola