England

Quiet, intense, plain chubby girl to skinny guy with child-molester mustache: When you fuck me, choke me.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Blee

Concerned-looking boyfriend: Yes, but it might not be kosher.
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: I don't think it's an issue.
Concerned-looking boyfriend: I dunno… If I eat pork… And you suck me off… Does that mean my cum is non-kosher?
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: Sweetie, I told you, I'm Jewish, but when it comes to jizz I just don't care.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Drunk teen: Anyone could be a rapist… I could be a rapist, that lady with the bag could be a rapist… [Lady with bag looks over, appalled.] Oh, well, I’m sure you are really very nice!

King’s Cross Night Bus
London
England

Overheard by: Andrea

Superior girl: You're just stumped by the Father-Christmas-isn't-a-cat argument.

Norwich
England

Overheard by: Inigo Montoya

College girl: Cookies and beer — that’s all I need in life.

Heathrow Airport
London
England

Overheard by: Spencer

Four-year-old girl on push scooter, to mum: The steering is counter-intuitive!

Oxfordshire
England

Young boy: I just wish this bus would come so I can stop thinking about my nipples.

Bus Stop
England

Old lady #1: I've never liked her!
Old lady #2: She was a shit at school, and she's a shit now.

West Midlands
England

Very short gay man: It's so hard being a vegetarian. My parents can't accept my sexuality or my religion… I'm living in a toilet!

Guernsey
England

Overheard by: Catie

The Zagat Guide Says So

Guy: You never know, perhaps he'll like it.
Girl, happily: I taste… Horrendous!

Oxford
England

Overheard by: Tim