Bar patron: I might talk about it if I had a few drinks in me… But I’d never let someone do it!
Hawaii Bar
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
Bar patron: I might talk about it if I had a few drinks in me… But I’d never let someone do it!
Hawaii Bar
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
Customer: I want to return this mouse.
CSR: Okay. May I ask why?
Customer: No, you’ll laugh at me.
CSR: I promise I won’t.
Customer: Every time I move it around it squeaks.
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Customer #1: Can you tell me about these TVs? Oh, sorry, I thought you worked here. You are dressed just like them.
Customer #2: That's okay. I don't know much about TVs.
Customer #1: What's to know? You plug it in and connect the cable, right? You probably know as much as them. Now these TVs, if they are digital, which they say they are… do I need a cable box for these or do I just put the setting on cable?
Customer #2: I don't know. I don't have a digital TV.
Customer #1: I don't have a TV either. I'm homeless. I have a radio.
Best Buy
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Scomart
Girl: I’ll have the chocolate peanut butter car crunch.
Cashier teenage boy: Ummmm… Yeah, the “car” actually stands for “caramel”.
Gelato Spot
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Fake Blonde
Tourist: Is it solid silver?
Salesman: Let me show you. First, do you know how to tell the difference between solid silver and silver plate?
Tourist: No.
Salesman: This is solid silver.
Dodgy Souvenir Shop
Egypt
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Customer, browsing selection of charm bracelets: Do you have any Nazi charm bracelets? My daughter loves that stuff!
Craft vendor: Uh…no.
Craft Show
San Diego, California
Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you're in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don't kill nobody!
Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada
Overheard by: Philly Joe
Grocery store bagger (handing stuffed cat to little girl): So, what are you going to name your new kitty?
Little girl: Baby Jesus!
California
Customer: I’m so sorry about the mess I left in the dressing room — I just had to be sure I loved what I was buying for the big day!
Sales associate: No problem. A girl only gets married once, right?
Customer: Actually, this is my second marriage… What kind of bra are you wearing?
Dillard’s
Denton, Texas
