Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.
Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey
Overheard by: Philly Joe
Drunk guy on cell: Dad, I can’t talk right now, I’m surrounded by FBI agents, but I’ve got your $100, your beer, and your marijuana. Oh, and your toilet paper. [Pause.] No, dad, FBI agents. [Pause.] I don’t know, they’re all beautiful women.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Barista guy, gesturing toward mug of Sharpies: Are you aware that these markers cost ninety-nine cents each?
Barista chick: Are you aware that I want to get my nipples pierced?
Starbuck’s, Castro Street
Mountain View, California
Overheard by: touché
Guy: My cousin got me this Jesus bracelet in like Cuba or something. It was only a dollar!
Jewish girl: Jesus shouldn’t have a price!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: oh, jesus
Woman: Wood is like money to old people.
Maryland Farms
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: FACT.
College girl: Remember that girl who admitted to stealing my clothes from the laundry room?
Friend: Yeah?
College girl: Well, she finally gave me my clothes back at the end of the semester before she mysteriously disappeared. I was like going through them and I found not just my clothes, but like other people’s clothes too. Not just girls either. I found tighty-whities and shit. But the weirdest part was at the bottom of the basket. There was a plastic bag of jewelry ranging from like cheapo rhinestone shit to like semiprecious stones, a tv remote with no batteries, a crazy-straw, some masking tape, an empty lipstick tube thing, and a handful of Canadian money.
Newark, New Jersey
Teen hipster on cell: Mom… Mom! I still have the 10 bucks. I did not spend it on drugs… I did not spend it on drugs!
Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: mightbekatrina
High school kid: … And then he started eating a ten dollar bill, so I beat him with a pool cue ’til he dropped it.
Alberta
Canadia
Hoochie: If I could get a hundred bucks just for showing my titties on Jerry Springer, I’d so do it.
Chicago, Illinois
Pre-hipster eyeing Harvard t-shirt: What do you mean you can't afford it? But you graduated from there. Isn't that the whole point of going there?
Prudential Mall
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by:
