But I Still Have That Restraining Order Against the Koosh Kins

Man to wife: You can bring the Beanie Babies if you really want.

Brighton
England

Overheard by: Randy

Posted on May 11, 2022
Couples, England, Toys, Wishes

Tonight on How I Met Your Motherfucker

Very drunk 20-something girl trying to play darts: So what do I do?
30-something guy #1: Just throw 'em.
30-something guy #2: Failing that, love, just take your top off.
Very drunk 20-something girl: Cheeky motherfucker! Get me a vodka and I'll do it!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on April 22, 2022
Drinking & drunks, Drunks, England, Girls, Guys, Insults, Offers and requests, Sex

British Cooking: Explained

Boy eating lunch: I am without sin! That's why potatoes come down my chimney!

Dagenham
Essex
England

Overheard by: Anthony Mercer

Posted on April 16, 2022
Default, England, Food, Guys, Religion, Weirdness

Competition for Upper Class Twit Of the Year Heats Up

Skinny ginger guy: Oh, don't over-egg the omelet!
Gorgeous girl: Uh… Omelets are mainly made of egg…?
Skinny ginger guy: Just because you wear glasses and go to university you think you're so smart. Well you're not. Because you're a girl! Nerrrrrrrrr!

Nottingham
England

Overheard by: Concerned_citizen

Posted on March 28, 2022
Comebacks, Education, England, Food, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Skinny people

…When They Ask Why We Can't Have Lunch with Them?

Girl: So we're telling them genital warts, then?

Devon
England

Posted on March 21, 2022
England, Girls, Questions, STDs

That's What He Calls His Penis.

Man at urinal, peeing, to no one in particular: This toilet smells like my sadness.

Bar
London
England

Overheard by: Dirty PJ

Posted on March 18, 2022
England, Guys, Pee, Philosophy, Sensory experiences

And Look at David Hasselhoff.

Cute redhead: I don’t think I could air my laundry in an art show. It seems terribly narcissistic.
Short male companion: A little narcissism never hurt anybody!
Cute redhead: Um, it hurt Narcissus.

London
England