Gossip

Girl: Is she drunk?
Guy: She’s half laughing, half crying, and half retarded.

Coffee shop
Canadia

Thrilled grandma: She was smiling so much, she could have shit her face.

Chattanooga State Library
Chattanooga, Tennessee

Overheard by: Joe!

Elevator dude #1: I just think she’s kind of ho-ish.
Elevator dude #2: I’m feeling that, though, because I’m like that myself.
Elevator dude #1: I’m not fucking with her.
Elevator dude #2: But if she was a dude, though, we’d be honoring her.
Elevator dude #1: Yeah, well, I’m not gonna be fucking no dude, either.

332 South Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Ronnie

Girl: So, my roommate’s mom still lets her use her credit card, which is crazy! I mean, we’re like 24, and I’ve had my own credit card since forever… But anyways, I guess my roommate had a huge bill last month, and her mom got all upset and called her and said, ‘Maybe you should soak the credit cards and put them in the freezer, so when you get the impulse to use them they’ll be frozen.’ So now we have, like, three credit cards in a tub in our freezer.

Brown Line El
Chicago, Illinois

Guy looking at picture of Daniel Craig modeling watches: Did you ever get to see Casino Royale? What did you think?
Chick: I don’t really know. I was kinda too busy having sex during it.

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/152235.html

Tayal #1: Do you know that Oro had a stroke?
Man: I have heard that.
Tayal #2: Which Oro?
Man: Tienmei’s father.
Tayal #2: How did that happen?
Tayal #1: He didn’t drink enough liquor.

http://talovich.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Yugan

Dude: So, you know what makes a great lube? Tears.
Chick: Yeah, they do. Especially in the shower.

864 Club
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Cdogg Davis

Man #1: I seen Jimmy the other day cuttin’ grass at my brother’s.
Man #2: Which brother?
Man #1: How many brothers I got?
Man #2: Two.
Man #1: Well, which one of ’em gets their grass cut by Jimmy?

McDonough, Georgia

Overheard by: lesley arango

Man: Yeah, we’re getting married as soon as she gets her ovaries removed.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Steve

Girl on cell: … And he ate the whole ear.

Swan Walk Shopping Centre
Horsham
UK