Drunk girl to friends: Dave and I were talking about which Muppet is hottest. I said the Count. He says Cookie Monster.
Dave: The Count would count every thrust! One… Hahaha… Two… Hahaha…
Drunk girl: But the Cookie Monster would get crumbs in the bed!
Downtown Grill and Brewery
Knoxville, Tennessee
Spacey English major: So… he’s a queer writer, right?
Surprised teaching assistant: No. He’s just Jewish American.
Spacey English major: Oh, same thing.
University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica
Woman on cell: Okay. Well, do you want the blowjob first or do you want to study first?
Nashville, Tennessee
Queer #1: You said: “Oooh, girl, you can’t build a pyramid on top of a pyramid.”
Queer #2: Did I say: “Oooh, girl”?! I did not say “Oooh, girl”!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: The Faghag
Teenage girl: Ohmigod, guess what!
Boyfriend: What?
Teenage girl: I just ran over a possum and it humped my car!
Chattanooga, Tennessee
White HS boy, in fake deep voice: That’s why titties and Tater Tots don’t mix!
33X Bus
Nashville, Tennessee
English teacher: A rhetorical question is a question you don’t expect an answer to. When a band yells, “Are you ready to rock?”, they’re not actually expecting someone to yell back, “Not quite, give us a couple more minutes.”
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Woman on cell: Well, I don’t feel like a lesbian.
Volunteer State Community College
Tennessee
Overheard by: kyndgrrl
Woman: Wood is like money to old people.
Maryland Farms
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: FACT.
Slacker boy: I could tell she was really into me, because she told me, like, three times, how she had given up sex for lent.
PM’s
Nashville, Tennessee
