Overheard in Melbourne’s Journal

Guy on cell: So yeah, I broke it off with her… Well, she has a thing for feet, and I have a thing about feet, so it just wasn’t going to work.


Guy: Yeah, no, she dumped me.
Friend: Why?
Guy: Dunno, but I think it was ’cause I said her sister was better in bed.


Young woman: Sometimes I feel like I’m in the seventies.
Friend: What? Why?
Young woman: Well, I mean… It’s usually just when I look at stoplights, like the yellow ones.


Overheard by: that makes one of us

Worker: My wife is pregnant!
Boss: Do you have a project plan for this?
Worker: Uh…
Boss: What’s the planned date of completion?
Worker: … May?
Boss: Hope you’ve done a risk analysis.


15-year-old boy, covered in makeup: Why would you take photos if they aren't for MySpace?


Lady on cell: Yes, I need to know what kind of an exhibition it will be, otherwise I’m not going to run it… Well, I’m not interested in people burping on each other or feeling each other up — that’s just a little weird… Well, yes, it makes up a part of my personality too, but not a very large or important one.

Univeristy of Melbourne

Drunk girl: I want to find a really kinky man tonight and shit on his chest.


Girl on cell: I know it’s your birthday… but it’s my ass!


Guy looking at picture of Daniel Craig modeling watches: Did you ever get to see Casino Royale? What did you think?
Chick: I don’t really know. I was kinda too busy having sex during it.


Gentleman: See, this is the thing — I have a couple of drinks, and then I think, ‘Hmmm… Spiro’s cock up my arse…’