Gossip

Freshman boy #1: Are you a man now?
Freshman boy #2: Yeah.
Freshman boy #3: It was that fast?

Outside Beaver [all girl’s dorm], Denison University
Granville, Ohio

Overheard by: L. A. DiLalla

Queer, when Bible-thumping lady splashes him with holy water: I’m a faggot, not a vampire. There’s a difference.

San Luis Obispo Gay Pride Festival
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rish

Man on cell: No, Eileen’s not too happy with me. I filled her refrigerator with waffles… No, I can’t talk about it here.

Public library
Cincinnati, Ohio

Schoolboy #1: I hear there's this law in America where if you're a guy you can marry your brother.
Schoolboy #2: That's wrong.
Schoolboy #1: Even if you're a dude!

Adelaide
Australia

Queer: At least I can say I did not die naked eating JELL-O.

House of Erika Palomino, Vila Madalena
São Paulo
Brazil

Chick: Hey, congratulations! I heard you was gonna be a father.
Guy: Yeah, she’s due in, like, three months.
Chick: Donna is gonna be so jealous. She wanted to be your baby-mama.
Guy: She still can be — I been waitin’ on that girl forever.

Green Line E train
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: vangundy

Large man: You need a back rub?
Girl rubbing shoulder in pain: I’m fine, thanks.
Large man: I give great massages. My mama says it’s better than a orgasm.

MUNI bus
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: melissa

Man on cell: I know she just thinks I’m this creepy guy, but I know better.

YMCA
Cary, North Carolina

Hipster, gesturing: … And his flaccid dick was as big as my forearm!

Olive Street overpass
Seattle, Washington

Little girl with mother: My birthday’s coming up soon, so I don’t want to get anything for me.
Woman in opposite aisle: There is no way that child is human.

CVS
Houston, Texas