Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh… No…
Dude: Seriously? To me that’s like… like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, ‘I’m going to tip that shit over.’
Eugene, Oregon
Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh… No…
Dude: Seriously? To me that’s like… like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, ‘I’m going to tip that shit over.’
Eugene, Oregon
Bitter guy: Men and women are like stones in a river that lived next to each other for a long time… But one of the stones is a stupid confused idiot who doesn’t ever want to be happy or for any stones anywhere to be freaking happy.
Eugene, Oregon
Dude: Is it okay if I bring her to the party this evening? She’s a Republican.
Bookstore
Florence, Oregon
Man to wife, thoughtfully: Everything south of San Francisco could just… just fall into the water, and it wouldn’t really matter.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Catherine
Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone's butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.
Portland, Oregon
Guy with hat: Did you find out what it was?
Guy with dog: They think it's something paranormal.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Michelle Freedman
Short boy, yelling inches away from short girl's face: We should hang out!
Short girl: (walks away silently)
Tall boy, laughing: Dude!
High School
Eugene, Oregon
Boy holding slinky: I feel weird.
Boy holding other end: It's okay. We've got a slinky!
High School
Eugene, Oregon
