Professor: Will someone please close the door? I don't want anyone else to hear the stupid things I say. Oh, wait, I have tenure now–I don't care if they hear me saying stupid things!
Georgia State University
Professor: Will someone please close the door? I don't want anyone else to hear the stupid things I say. Oh, wait, I have tenure now–I don't care if they hear me saying stupid things!
Georgia State University
Girl to friend: Well, I woke up naked, again, with a quesadilla in my bed, again, so I say it was a pretty average night.
Eclipse de Sol Restaurant
Atlanta, Georgia
Girl to friends: I’m 31 years old, for Christ’s sake. My mom doesn’t get it. I’m too fucking old to get excited about some guy that pisses himself, calls me up and acts like it’s a fucking achievement.
Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Guy: That motherfucking cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
Cop (on car’s loudspeaker): I’m not a motherfucker.
University of Georgia
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Anne
Mother to quietly weeping child: Can’t you just… be happy?
Target Parking Lot
Cumming, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Soccer mom #1: Is Cindy* coming?
Soccer mom #2: No, she broke up with Steve* today.
Soccer mom #1: She broke up with Steve*? Why?
Soccer mom #2: She called him and told him she wanted to play mixed doubles tennis, and he just lost it.
LA Fitness Locker Room
Buford, Georgia
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Girl #1: Yeah, that’s not cool, but I understand. He sounds very immature.
Girl #2: He is. It’s such a shame. I laid in bed last night reminiscing about the time I spent with him in bed. It’s like I can still feel it. Too bad he’s such an asshole, and too bad that good dick makes me so… not able to accept what a douchebag a guy really is.
Atlanta, Georgia
Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don’t know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.
Druid Hills, Atlanta
Overheard by: Miranda
Guy: I learned something… What did I learn? I learned that my son is a fatty.
Chick-fil-A
Marietta, Georgia
Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is “Salad tosser”?
Arby’s Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia
