Little Hispanic boy: I want more food.
Dad, calmly: Okay. We just have to get another plate.
Little Hispanic boy: But I want more food!
Dad: Okay! We just need to go get you another plate.
Little Hispanic boy: But I want more food!
Dad, yelling: I said ‘okay’! I just have to get you a new plate!
Little Hispanic boy, shocked: You yelled at me…
Dad: Well, I tried speaking to you like a white man, but you wouldn’t listen.
Chinese buffet
Reading, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hole
Teen girl to friends: Oh, fuck, we’re in America.
Border of America and Italy, Epcot, Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: leaving ‘America’
Father to eight-year-old son in front of paddle boat vendor: No! We have jet skis. Are you kidding me?!
Inner Harbor
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Y G B S M
Old man holding up movie to old woman: How about this one?
Old woman, exasperation: You know I don’t like outer space!
Video store
Illinois
Mother to misbehaving five-year-old: Knock it off! I just got you a pedicure!
Forever 21
Lynnwood, Washington
Old black guy #1: We can eat here. It’s not too busy.
Old black guy #2: Damn! There sure ain’t no cutie pies in that motherfucker!
McDonald’s
New York
Tween girl, to dad and three younger siblings: I can’t believe we’re eating dinner at a Target…
Target
Royal Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: spacerwoman
Mom: This is ridiculous! Why are you crying?
Wailing four-year-old: Because I have no reason left to live!
701 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Guy: So, my Friday night was a little awkward.
Girl: How so?
Guy: Well, uh… I sort of… um… Made out with Lyndsey.
Girl: Lyndsey. As in, my ex-boyfriend’s little sister, Lyndsey?! I can’t believe this! What the hell is wrong with you?
Guy: Don’t hate me. It wouldn’t have happened if you were there to watch me! I blame you. Die.
Woodinville, Washington
Dad, screaming at four kids: Get back here, you little bastards! If you don’t behave, I’ll make you sleep in the hotel bathroom when we get there! [10-year-old drops his ticket, and it starts blowing away.] Jimmy! What the hell?! How could you do something so fucking stupid?! Well, what are you standing there for? Run and get it!
Mom, screaming at dad: Why don’t you relax?! He dropped his ticket — so what, you son of a bitch?! We’ll make it there and then you will relax! Your stress issues are really driving me crazy!
Lady behind them in line, to her own husband: I love you, honey.
Airport
Virginia
